View profile

Worst Rappers list somehow completely accurate

Internets, For weeks we've been inundated with people's lists of the 50 best rappers of all time. Fin

Life in a Shanty Town

October 25 · Issue #140 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

For weeks we’ve been inundated with people’s lists of the 50 best rappers of all time. Finally, someone has seen fit to make a list of the worst rappers of all time, and I’m shocked at the accuracy of this list. Whoever made it is an absolute wizard.
This top-50-MCs-list meme began when some dumbass on Twitter posted a list of the top 50 MCs of all time and had the nerve to have Joe Budden in the top three.
He may have been a refugee from a hip-hop message board that finally shut down after 26 years in operation, possibly because the guy running it is having his wages garnished due to child support payments in arrears. I’m just speculating.
Once upon a time there were a lot of Joe Budden stans on the Internets. He may have only had like 200 fans, but literally all of them were online, analyzing Budden’s lame-ass bars and monitoring various websites for mention of their hero.
I once got into a beef with the Budden stan army, known as the Internet Soldiers, over something or other that I must have said about him. A few them made Bol dis songs. There might be as many as 20 rap songs in which I’m mentioned. Alas, many of them are lost to the ages.
After everyone got done making fun of the list with Budden on it (LOL), several people submitted their own lists, as if anyone gives a shit. I may have skimmed one or two of them, which was all I had time for, let alone interest.
As I recall, they were similar to any number of other such lists, with Jay-Z significantly higher than he would have been if the list had been created when rap music was still worth a shit. He hasn’t made much good music in the interim, but he’s made a lot of money, which provides impressionable black children (i.e. anyone who still lives “at home,” regardless of age) with hope.
I was surprised to see how ‘90s-centric the lists were. Rappers who would have topped the list back when (again) rap music was still worth a shit, like KRS-One and Rakim, were hardly represented. Pretty much everyone’s top five was some permutation of Jay-Z, Biggie, 2Pac and Nas.
As someone who still lives in the 1990s on an emotional level, I couldn’t be too upset. But I couldn’t help but wonder. There isn’t a single writer at a mainstream publication whose list wouldn’t be topped by Chief Keef, Gucci Mane or some such bullshit. Maybe even Pastor Ma$e. (Pastor Ma$e revisionism is big with a certain type of charlatan.) And yet, people with such views hardly seem to exist in the wild. If there’s five people who think that way, they all cover rap music for major publications.
I’m sure they were none too pleased with the Worst Rappers list. I kid when I say that it’s completely accurate, because these things are subjective to a certain degree, as long as Magoo and Silkk the Shocker are represented somewhere in the upper reaches. (Magoo tops this list, and Silkk is number five.)
The Worst Rappers lists is almost the opposite of the many Best Rappers lists in that it consists almost entirely of artists who made their mark from the 2000s onward, including many rappers who are currently popular. The aforementioned Magoo and Silkk the Shocker are the two main '90s rappers on the list, and that might be because their names have come to be synonymous with “wack rapper.” (Puff Daddy wuz robbed.)
Chicago was well-represented, as it should be, along with the South, white rappers, child rappers and weed carriers. A few people seemed to be upset that Earl Sweatshirt, Cassidy, Ludacris and Logic were on the list. I didn’t see anyone sticking up for Freeway, but he seems way out of place. Certainly, they could have swapped him out for Kanye. He’s not even a real rapper!
Somewhere, Chance the Rapper is breathing a sigh of relief.
The Worst Rappers list didn’t serve any purpose other than to insult artists whose only crime is that they make a type of music that you don’t personally enjoy, along with their fans, and I think that’s why I liked it so much. It reminded me of a time in my life when I spent my days sharing my message of love with America rather than applying packing tape to cardboard boxes and stacking them on a pallet.
And I’m heartened to see young people engaging in such behavior. I know it had to be someone from the under 30 set who put this list together, because there’s a good 10 rappers on there that I’ve never heard of, and I write literally thousands of words a week about things that are at least tangentially related to rap music.
Take it easy on yourself,

Did you enjoy this issue?
Become a member for $5 per month
Don’t miss out on the other issues by Byron Crawford
You can manage your subscription here
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here.
Powered by Revue