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Why *I* follow politics

Internets, I was on the fence about whether I would vote in the election on Tuesday, since it won't d

Life in a Shanty Town

October 30 · Issue #247 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

I was on the fence about whether I would vote in the election on Tuesday, since it won’t do me any good, but I think I will, if only as a show of appreciation for the fact that female politicians have never been as attractive as they are in 2020.
From the emergence of Amy Coney Barrett, whom I’ll consider a politician for the purpose of this missive, to this AOC Vanity Fair cover, not to mention Kamala Harris being selected as Joe Biden’s running mate, possibly due in part to her looks (poor Stacey Abrams never stood a chance), it’s getting to the point where I’m half-tempted to stop looking at TikTok for three or fours an evening and start watching MSNBC.
If only they allowed girls in their late teens and early 20s to run for office, i.e. when their Sexual Market Value is at its peak. The halls of Congress would be indistinguishable from an OnlyFans directory. In fact, I’ve long suspected that one of the reasons women can’t get ahead in our society is that younger women aren’t taken as seriously as they should be. Rarely have I had a conversation with a woman in her 50s that was significantly more intelligent than conversations I’ve had with girls who were still in high school. It really is true that girls mature quicker than boys, and politics should account for that.
Yesterday on Twitter, there was a minor controversy having to do with the aforementioned Vanity Fair cover with the lovely Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, leader of the Squad, or as Alex Jones called them on Joe Rogan the other day, the Four Horsemen. Some obscure or perhaps aspiring female politician named Lauren Boebert complained that the outfit AOC was wearing cost $14,000, even though she’s supposedly a socialist. Shouldn’t she be wearing a (hopefully sheer) potato sack that’s been repurposed? I’m sure some of the residents from her district could use $14,000. Isn’t the neighborhood from “Hookers at the Point” part of her district?
I consulted the Google re: Boebert, to find out more on her stance on US foreign policy, and wouldn’t you know, she could give AOC a run for her money. She dresses more skanky than AOC, but she’d still be doable in one of those Kim Jong-Un and/or Suge Knight outfits that Hillary Clinton wore during the 2016 election cycle. Another thing to know about Boebert is that she has mugshots in Google. Not just one, but like three or four of them. She’s not as hot without makeup, but I wouldn’t kick her out of my bed. I *would* be curious to know what she did. If it was something trivial like drunk driving or shoplifting sexy underwear, I feel like we should let that slide.
The fact of the matter is that the world of politics has changed. There’s been a huge influx of talent both in terms of looks and (possibly) intellect. A female politician can’t just appear on the cover of Vanity Fair in an outfit she got from Rainbow. She might not be allowed to. A while back, they put Queen & Slim screenwriter Lena Waithe on the cover, and I heard they had to do a round of layoffs at Conde Nast to make up for the lost revenue.
It’s too bad that the American people have such a narrow conception of female beauty, but now is not the time to cultivate an interest in ugly chicks. This could be the most important election of our lifetime.
Take it easy on yourself,

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