The astute journalists who, this week, published think pieces in which it was suggested that the terrorists purposely targeted an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England, because they were upset by themes of female empowerment on her album Dangerous Woman weren’t wrong to think that the terrorists have, shall we say, issues when it comes to women, and that they would purposely target women in one of their attacks, but they were wrong to think that such an attack would take the form of a bomb at an Ariana Grande concert.
For starters, we can be fairly certain that the terrorists have never heard Dangerous Woman. True, the terrorists are foreigners, probably from the Middle East somewhere, and people from countries other than the US tend to have bad taste in music, but that probably just means they’re still listening to ‘90s-era Michael Jackson albums 25 years after the fact. (Off the Wall and Thriller are still perfectly acceptable.) I know some Arabs, including bin Laden, really fuxwit Whitney Houston. They were upset to see what Bobby Brown did to her, though I’m willing to believe him when he says that Whitney was the one who brought cocaine into the relationship.
Members of ISIS, which is taking credit for the attack, have been living in tents in the desert for years now. I doubt they’ve had time to familiarize themselves with the themes of an album that was only released this time last year. They might not even know who Ariana Grande is. She’s only been famous since like 2015. As recently as 2014, she was on the Disney Channel show “Victorious,” starring Victoria Justice, who must have gone straight from the Disney Channel to the Fappening. No wonder she’s been said to have the best body of the entire bunch. (I can’t personally confirm this, because I’ve never actually seen those pics.)
Two years ago, Ariana Grande famously licked a donut that didn’t belong to her and declared that she hates America. It was her own terrorist attack, in a sense. She was probably on drugs, which would explain licking the donut. I’ve never gotten high and licked a donut that didn’t belong to me (no Boutros), but one time when I was in college, on a dare, I ate a Twinkie that I found lying in the street, in a crosswalk. It appeared to be clean and only recently dropped, but it turned out to be soaked with rainwater. This is one of the many reasons why I don’t recommend smoking marijuana, despite all the BS you hear these days about how it’s actually good for you.
It’s been proven scientifically that a visit to a strip club lowers your level of cortisol, the stress hormone, while increasing your level of oxytocin, the hormone that prevents women from eating their own babies, so why isn’t it covered under Obamacare? I mean, if the government really does care about your health.
I rest on your face.
Even if you believe that the terrorists would purposely target a show by an artist only a woman could like, i.e. that ISIS has a thought process as demented as an Internets feminist, it doesn’t make sense that they would pick Ariana Grande, who’s on the record as hating both America and Americans. Is Miley Cyrus not on tour? I know she’s got a new album coming out, because she was in Billboard the other day talking about how she doesn’t listen to rap music anymore because it’s disrespectful to women. I feel like Miley Cyrus is more American than Ariana Grande, and not just because she’s racist. I consulted the wiki to see what kind of Hispanic Ariana Grande is, and it says she’s Italian. Well, Ill be damned!
At any rate, it doesn’t make sense that they would target a concert by a female artist, because that’s not their m-o. If you look at their past few high profile attacks, one was at an Eagles of Death Metal concert in Paris, one was at some sort of outdoor festival, also in France, and one was at a gay nightclub in scenic Orlando, FL. None of those attacks was at a very good place to find women. It seems as if they’re just picking large public gatherings at random, with the exception of the attack on the gay nightclub in Orlando, which was plotted by a guy who was “on the DL.” The few attacks that I’m aware of in which they did purposely target women were sexual in nature, including that time Boko Haram kidnapped those girls and sent all but like three of them home pregnant.
Countries in Western Europe are being inundated by migrants from the Middle East. It’s why some of them are electing Nazis and trying to back out of trade agreements. The media refers to these migrants as refugees, but according to an article I read in Breitbart they’re mostly military-age men. It doesn’t make sense that they would purposely try to kill very many women, if only because then they wouldn’t have as many women to have sex with, consensual or otherwise (note that I only approve of the former).
Take it easy on yourself,