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Tekashi 6ix9ine only commits sex crimes

Internets, It's not in a black man's nature to send out a free, weekly email newsletter the day after
Tekashi 6ix9ine only commits sex crimes
By Byron Crawford • Issue #83 • View online
Internets,
It’s not in a black man’s nature to send out a free, weekly email newsletter the day after a holiday, which is like a holiday itself, but Tekashi 6ix9ine was locked up the other day, and of course I have thoughts.
Tekashi, along with his management and weed carriers, was picked up on a veritable laundry list of Fed charges, including drug dealing, robbery and shooting at people. He was said to be facing 25 years in prison at a bare minimum.
He was taken to a jail in Brooklyn, where he was held in “gen pop.” Theoretically, he was at risk of being hit over the head with a can of peaches and effed in the a by Adebisi, though it’s since been pointed out by any number of people who have been locked up, all of whom I follow on Twitter, that the place he went to isn’t particularly dangerous.
Apparently, he was out by Thanksgiving anyway, just in time to fix himself a plate. According to TMZ, he was transferred to a special facility for people who are planning to tattle on their co-d’s. Of course they couldn’t say where the facility is, lest another member of Tekashi’s gang shows up and pops a cap in his ass—if there’s any of them who aren’t already in jail.
It raises the question: How does TMZ know there’s a special facility for snitches? I’ve never heard of some shit like this a day in my life, and I’ve been writing about rappers going to jail since before Tekashi 6ix9ine knew what rap music was. Furthermore, how is it that TMZ always seems to know what the police are up to before anyone else? It’s almost as if they are the police!
If you check the department of corrections website, it just says that Tekashi 6ix9ine, née Daniel Hernandez, has been released. It sounds to me like he’s holed up in some cushy hotel room somewhere awaiting his day in court, and that this whole thing may have been arranged by his manager, who’s the son of Sir Lucian “Left Foot” Grainge, the CEO of the entire Universal Music Group.
A few weeks ago, some of Tekashi’s weed carriers tried to kill Grainge the younger, and that may have been the thing that led to these Fed charges. Grainge was having dinner in a restaurant that doesn’t admit black people, in New York in 2018, to celebrate Tekashi getting off once again for that video of him and another nominally grown man using a middle school-age girl as a pair of Chinese handcuffs.
Tekashi’s manager and a couple of weed carriers showed up and of course were denied entry. If they wanted chicken wings and hollowed out potato skins with cheese and bacon bits, they’d have to place an order for Curbside to Go. They weren’t trying to hear that and got into it with the guy working the door. Grainge’s security, who were retired NYPD, intervened and ended up popping a cap in one of the weed carriers’ asses.
Obviously, the people who are actually profiting from this nonsense can’t have gangbangers out here threatening their lives, nor do they want Tekashi 6ix9ine in prison, where he can’t be properly exploited. He was supposed to have an album coming out today. It was announced on Instagram the other day that it’s been postponed indefinitely, presumably until Tekashi has been acquitted of all charges.
If you look at the indictment, Tekashi seems to have been merely present in most of the incidents cited, and he somehow managed to sever all business ties with his manager just in time. If he can get his case separated from his crew, the same way Puff Daddy did Shyne, he could probably get off with only violation of his probation for the uh, sexual impropriety, which he can serve in Club Fed.
It just goes to show the value of having Illuminati ties. I’m not saying I would sacrifice my masculinity to join. I’m just saying. If I were to get locked up, I’d have to try to get my parents to post bail, and it would be hard to make a case for why I can’t be in jail, when I don’t even work for a living.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

 

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Byron Crawford

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