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Suck it, Megyn Kelly

Internets, I wasn't concerned, personally, with how Alex Jones would get his career back in order, be
Suck it, Megyn Kelly
By Byron Crawford • Issue #9 • View online
Internets,
I wasn’t concerned, personally, with how Alex Jones would get his career back in order, because I won’t have the time to spend three hours a day watching the Alex Jones Show until I’m unemployed again, but the fact of the matter is that something had to be done. Alex Jones just hasn’t been right since Trump took office.
He was forced to admit that he’s essentially a performance artist, in a deposition for a family court hearing in which he ended up losing custody of his kids to his ex-wife, who’s both mentally ill and on drugs (which is why we need a men’s rights movement), and he was forced to issue an apology to a yogurt company that’s been accused (albeit by Jones himself) of being with the terrorists.
Worse, the show isn’t as entertaining as it once was. It’s both boring and saddening to sit and watch Alex Jones carry water for the president.
This weekend, Jones is set to appear on some interview show Megyn Kelly is hosting on NBC on Sunday evenings, when I’m pretty sure they’d usually be airing an episode of Dateline. Dateline must be off for the summer, when no one but the elderly and people in prison are watching TV. Hopefully it returns this fall with something good, like that Tim Dog episode.
Kelly was supposed to be big time, after Donald Trump, in last year’s presidential election, accused her of having blood coming from her “wherever” (which scientifically is true), but she blew it when her big prime time interview of Trump ended up being almost as bad as a podcast interview. This Alex Jones interview could be her last chance to make it in journalism before she ends up interviewing a drugged out Lil Wayne (or whoever this year’s equivalent of Lil Wayne is) in a Yahoo! web video, like Katie Couric.
It would be tragic if Megyn Kelly did end up running her own personal equivalent of Life in a Shanty Town, because Megyn Kelly is finer than a mofo. A few years ago, when she was still mostly known for insisting that Santa Claus is white, she did a photoshoot for GQ, and that shit was hot by purely objective standards, not just relative to other women who pretend to be journalists. That Roger Ailes sure knew how to pick ‘em.
Promos for the Alex Jones interview began appearing maybe a week ago. In one of them, it’s suggested that Jones called Sandy Hook a false flag event, which he did, on multiple occasions. Alex Jones was upset about this, because he can’t have people thinking he said the dead kids and grieving parents at Sandy Hook were all just “crisis actors,” regardless of whether or not he did. Infowars is a legit media organization now.
To protect his reputation, and to take advantage of an opportunity to get his name in the paper, Alex Jones has been bitching and moaning about this Megyn Kelly interview pretty much nonstop for the past week. At one point, he began demanding for NBC to not air the interview, which I’m pretty sure is a move right out of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. Jones’ one-time arch-nemesis Barack Obama would be proud, if he weren’t off somewhere parasailing.
Meanwhile, both people on Twitter and parents of Sandy Hook victims are upset that NBC would provide Alex Jones, of all people, with such a platform. Kelly has been disinvited from some Sandy Hook-themed award show (er, maybe it’s a panel discussion, which arguably would be worse), and people on Twitter have joined Alex Jones in calling for NBC to pull the interview.
At least one sponsor, JP Morgan, has pulled its ads, though I wouldn’t be surprised if that had more to do with Jones attempting to expose the Illuminati.
Thursday afternoon, presumably upset that NBC wouldn’t pull the interview, Jones announced that he’d air the interview himself, long before it was set to air on NBC. He claims to have surreptitiously recorded the interview as it took place, which, according to the Law Offices of Facebook and Twitter LLC, is perfectly legal in Texas.
As I’m writing this, he’s only released about 10 minutes of audio of a pre-interview segment, but even that’s just devastating. In it, you can hear Megyn Kelly assuring Alex Jones that she won’t ask him any especially difficult questions, that she won’t dwell on Sandy Hook, that she doesn’t really know who he is and that she’s most interested in depicting him as a father. She explains that if she did run a hit piece on him, she wouldn’t be able to get anyone else to submit to an interview.
Whether or not Jones has the entire interview remains to be seen. If he does, it might actually make sense for him to hold on to it until after NBC airs their version. Supposedly, just in the past few days, NBC has gone back and edited their version of the interview to make it harder on Jones and to include statements from the parents of Sandy Hook victims. If they somehow use editing trickery to twist his words, and Alex Jones can call them on it, Megyn Kelly could end up on the deepest of deep cable, alongside Dan Rather, if he’s still alive.
Fortunately, with her looks, she’ll never be completely out of a job, even if it involves her moving to Missouri.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

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