View profile

Straight Guy Fall continues apace

Internets, At a time when a brother can find himself out of a job for simply expressing his beliefs,
Straight Guy Fall continues apace
By Byron Crawford • Issue #124 • View online
Internets,
At a time when a brother can find himself out of a job for simply expressing his beliefs, and his need for female companionship, it’s a joy and a relief to see Dave Chappelle out here sharing his message of love with America with such reckless abandon.
He could obviously give a rat’s ass about being canceled, and he must have some sort of deal with Netflix in which he’s allowed to say whatever he wants to say.
I wouldn’t mind having a look at his contract, both to see how much he’s getting paid and to see if there’s anything he’s absolutely, positively prohibited from saying. If there is, it must be something completely beyond the pale, like Sandy Hook denial or BDS.
Chappelle was paid $50 million for those first two Netflix specials, a few years ago, and he’s done three more since then (four, if you count the hidden epilogue that autoplays after “Sticks & Stones”), so he should be cool on money.
He lives in Ohio, where there’s nothing to buy except curl activator and opioids. Ohio often tops lists of states ranked by lowest cost of living, along with my native Missouri. Remember when McDonald’s offered Charles Ramsey free hamburgers for life and he turned them down? He could afford to buy his own hamburgers, and I don’t even think he worked for a living.
Chappelle probably couldn’t get another cable or network series if he wanted to, before “Sticks & Stones,” after bailing on “Chappelle’s Show,” but why would he want to? He obviously had a hard enough time the first time around, and that was before he was walking around in a onesie with his name stitched across his chest, as if he installs break pads between standup specials.
In this new special, Chappelle joked that Louis CK died from a tragic masturbation accident, the very thought of which led to a minor existential crisis for yours truly. Nullus. CK has since returned to the stage, but some of waitresses in clubs where he performs are trying to have him banned on the grounds that he represents a workplace hazard.
If Louis did rub one out in front of some poor comedy club waitress, and she’d already bitched and moaned to management about the possibility of him doing so, she could probably sue the club for more money than Dave Chappelle made from Netflix. Louis might honestly be screwed. But maybe Netflix will have him back, I mean, if they’re letting Dave Chappelle drop the other f-word as if this were 1998.
Netflix must be hard up for content. Their movie selection has sucked balls for years now, and they’re about to lose “Friends,” which will cost them dearly with people who don’t work for a living, if not the aforementioned Charles Ramsey. If only “Sticks & Stones” dropped the same week the Disney streaming service launched. Disingenuous SJWs could have pretended the drop in Netflix’s stock price was people who don’t find trans humor funny, mmkay?
There was a lot of concern trolling and amateur cultural criticism on Black People Twitter this week. But if you notice, there was little, if any, talk of canceling Netflix—meaning literally getting your credit card out and talking on the phone with someone in India who, ironically, claims his name is Dave. Meanwhile, “Sticks & Stones” has been trending all week long, at a time when the president has lost his damn mind and Popeye’s has run out of chicken.
This is a good sign, and I hope it encourages Netflix to further invest in offensive content. Maybe even a little “adult” entertainment. I’ve been making due with what they’ve had on offer, but I’m not getting and younger, nor am I made of money.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol
P.S. A lot of people already signed up for the Members Only ™ emails. If you haven’t already, now would be a good time. The first one drops on Tuesday.

 

Did you enjoy this issue?
Become a member for $5 per month
Don’t miss out on the other issues by Byron Crawford
Byron Crawford

A free, weekly email newsletter from the pioneering hip-hop blogger and author of books like Infinite Crab Meats and No Country for Black Men, with topics including racism, homophobia, healthy living, respect for women, tolerance for religion and who really runs the music industry

You can manage your subscription here
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here
Powered by Revue