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Protect Taylor Lorenz at all costs

Protect Taylor Lorenz at all costs
By Byron Crawford • Issue #400 • View online
When I saw Taylor Lorenz crying on MSNBC, I knew that it would be necessary for me to spring into action.
The sight of tears streaming down her kinda attractive face aroused a protective instinct in me from deep within that I don’t always feel with other groups of women (no need to get any more specific than that).
Lorenz, if you’re not familiar, is a girl who writes about TikTok for the Washington Post. She used to write for the New York Times until fairly recently, when she left all of a sudden.
She may have been run out of town on a rail, via unkind remarks on the company’s internal messaging system, not unlike the not-in-the-least-bit-attractive, ultra-Zionist Bari Weiss.
People don’t like Taylor Lorenz, because she’s good-looking and wildly successful. Her articles were much more widely read than anything else published in the Times, probably.
Also, she’s insane. She does the thing where she cries out for attention on the Internets and then complains that the amount of attention she receives is causing her to develop weird mental health issues.
Word on the street is that she has some sort of disease in which she pulls out her own hair and eats it. It sounds like something a pregnant woman would do, but she almost certainly doesn’t have any kids.
Why doesn’t she just call it quits at 43 and take up knitting? She grew up in the rich part of Connecticut that the Bush family is from and attended a Swiss boarding school, where she probably kissed other girls in the shower.
This week, people were upset with her because she wrote an article in which she outed the owner of a TikTok account called Libs of TikTok, which apparently speaks out against transgender women in sports.
I haven’t had a chance to read the article yet, but I was all for it being published, because I’m a fervent supporter of transgender women in sports—not because I like the idea of cisgender women not being able to compete, but because I’m against bigotry.
In the interest of fairness, I’m also in favor of transgender men in sports. I’d even be willing to compete against one, if I knew for a fact that I could win. Most likely, it would have to be some sort of combat sport.
The anti-trans right, disingenuously, is trying to claim that Lorenz is trying to get someone killed. Also, the lady who runs the account is Jewish, so they’re saying she’s an anti-Semite.
Would a terrorist blow up this woman’s house just because they found the address in the Washington Post, or would they appreciate the fact that she’s against trans women in sports, which I’m sure they’re also against?
Regardless, they shouldn’t be going after Taylor Lorenz. She didn’t do anything wrong here, and I’m concerned about the effect this controversy could end up having on her scalp.
We don’t need her out here looking like Jada Pinkett.


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Byron Crawford

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