Merry Christmas to all of you except Iggy Azalea, if she’s reading this, who had the temerity to criticize Playboi Carti for attending an album release party instead of spending time with a child he had with Azalea.
Did it ever occur to her that he might need to generate an income, to keep the baby in Pampers in Similac?
After all, someone’s got to do it. I haven’t heard so much as a peep from Azalea in years, even though she had multiple songs top the Hot 100 a few years ago, and even though slutty female rap is hot right now.
Whereas, Playboi Carti is a relatively obscure figure. I’m not gonna lie—I have no idea who he is. I don’t know the names of any of the songs he sings. If you showed me a picture of a black guy in his twenties and asked me if it was Playboi Carti or Travis Scott, and my life depended on it, there’s a possibility I would die.
I don’t know what Iggy Azalea’s body looks like right now, but if it’s even halfway serviceable, I feel like she should have much more of a presence in today’s pop culture. Even if it’s just an OnlyFans.
Remember when one of these young trollops hopped on OnlyFans for a day and made like $2 million, probably more than Jeff Bezos and Warren Buffet make in a single day, but then she had to quit because she didn’t want to post proper noodz? After that, OnlyFans made it so you only get paid on a net 30 basis, which threw a lot of hoo-ers’ lives into financial chaos. They may have been forced to make a suspiciously solicitous phone call to a gentleman of a certain age.
Anyway, if Azalea showed some initiative, she wouldn’t need to sweat Carti on his album-release date, when he’s got things he needs to be doing.
She may have also been concerned that the baby needs to spend time with its father, if only to know who its father is, which many black kids don’t, but also to create some sort of bond. I do believe that this is true, but it’s of minimal concern when the baby is so young.
No one remembers anything that happened to them before they were like five, and you end up forgetting much of what happened subsequent to that point by the time you’re 39 and 10 months. Azalea could just as easily introduce the baby to some other black guy and say it’s its father, and the baby wouldn’t have any way of knowing. The baby is probably like myself in that it can’t distinguish between its father and any number of other supposedly popular and yet largely anonymous young rappers.
Travis Scott, for example, supposedly makes $100 million a year from endorsements alone. In 10 years, he’ll have more money than Jay-Z. He has his own line of Budweiser. Does Travis Scott even drink Budweiser? You know how much Budweiser I’ve drunk in my lifetime? You don’t want to know!
Christmas is a time to spend time with loved ones, exchange gifts and reflect on the story of the baby Jesus and what significance it might have, if any, to us in our current situation. It’s not a time to suggest that black men aren’t dedicated fathers, just because they’re out trying to earn a living, so they can take care of the families, on what should be their day off. Nor is any other day of the year.
I’m disappointed in Iggy Azalea. And while I will be consulting Google Images as soon as I get done writing this, on Christmas Day, to see if her body is still decent, it will only be because I’m compelled beyond my will, due to years of conditioning, not because I approve of anything she’s said or done.
Take it easy on yourself,