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OnlyFans is for everyone

Internets, If some girls with an OnlyFans are struggling to put food on their families, it might just

Life in a Shanty Town

January 15 · Issue #269 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

If some girls with an OnlyFans are struggling to put food on their families, it might just be that they’re not as attractive as the best that site has to offer. That’s no reason why any at least moderately attractive woman shouldn’t offer access to her noodz on a monthly subscription basis.
Even if they only make $250 in a four-month span, that’s $250 more than they would have had otherwise, which might come in handy in a time of increasing economic uncertainty. And who knows, they might strike it rich!
I don’t buy the bullshit argument put forth in an article in the New York Times—published the same week they tried to kneecap the homie Andrew Yang—that girls can’t make any money on OnlyFans because too many girls now have an OnlyFans.
One million girls now have an OnlyFans, which is just a staggering, breathtaking fact, and something I might have to quietly reflect on this weekend (perhaps on MLK Day). But there’s also 90 million guys subscribing to girls’ OnlyFans.
If my math is correct, that means there’s 90 guys for each girl. At $20 a month, that’s $1,800 a month just for taking pictures of your cans once a day, i.e. more than they pay at Warehouse #2.
And that’s not even counting the fact that there’s probably some losers who subscribe to more than one girl’s OnlyFans. (I bet there’s some guy in Dubai who subscribes to all one million of them.)
Obviously, not every girl on the site is going to have an equal number of, erm, fans. But that just creates an incentive for girls with fewer fans to post racier content. Is it not allowed for girls to charge guys to cop a feel, if they provide their own transportation to wherever she lives?
One thing less attractive girls might consider, provided they meet the bare minimum level of attractiveness that should be required to start an OnlyFans (they might also consider an age limit), is charging less money per month.
If I’m paying $20 a month, it better be for a girl who’s so hot that I might never see a girl like that in real life (a distinct possibility here in Missouri). But I’d be willing to pay $2 a month to access the noodz of a girl who’s merely too hot to not want anything to do with me.
Who among us doesn’t own a sweater in a color they don’t really like because it was $10 cheaper than a black or navy blue one?
I’ve yet to join a girl’s OnlyFans, in part because I remain fixated on the same few videos I’ve been watching since the mid ‘00s (I prefer pr0n where the guy holding the camera narrates), but I do keep a short list of girls whose content I wouldn’t mind having a look at, should I decide to take the plunge.
If only I could work out a deal in which I’d give them access to the Members Only™ issues of Life in a Shanty Town in exchange for access to their noodz. Girls like to read more than guys, but why would a girl with a good body want to read?
I’d join the OnlyFans of any moderately attractive woman I knew personally, if only to satisfy the curiosity that comes with knowing a woman with a decent body and wondering what she looks like naked, but also to support a friend who might be going through some financial and/or mental health issues.
But I’d feel a deep sense of shame if I saw anyone I was related to on OnlyFans. I definitely wouldn’t take a look, no matter how hot she was, both because that would just be gross and also because they might be able to find out your real name from your credit card info.
Depending on who it was, I might pull her father to the side and let him know that he needs to go get his daughter. Alas, that’s not an option in every black family.
Take it easy on yourself,

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