When I read that Bill Cosby plans to hold seminars on how to avoid being charged with sexual assault, I was of course reminded of OJ Simpson’s announcement, after he was rightfully acquitted of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, that he planned to search for the real killers.
In the weeks following the verdict, OJ would be pictured on the golf course, accompanied by some joke about how the real killers must be somewhere on the back nine.
Ah, the 1990s. It’s hard not to feel nostalgic for that era, regardless of what kind of rap music you prefer. It was a simpler time. Most rappers were still alive. Donald Trump was a Democrat and close friends with both the Clintons and the hip-hop community.
I was glad to see Bill Cosby’s sexual assault case end in a mistrial the other day, if only because it would have been a profound miscarriage of justice if he’d been convicted, but alas, it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as the OJ verdict, which honestly may have been the second best thing to ever happen to black people (of like three things total), right behind emancipation.
I’m not saying Bill didn’t do it, because I wasn’t there, which is the only way you can say for certain (don’t trust anyone who suggests otherwise), but I’m at a loss for how the prosecution could have presented a case that met the burden of proof necessary in a criminal trial like this, i.e. beyond a reasonable doubt. Andrea Constand claims to have been sexually assaulted by Bill Cosby in 2004. Who among us can honestly say they can name five things that happened in 2004? I rest my case.
The reason the case wasn’t tried umpteen years ago was because the district attorney at the time took a look at the facts and realized there was no way they could get a conviction. To bring the case to trial would have been a waste of taxpayers’ dollars. The only reason it went to trial in 2017 is because the current district attorney ran for office, against the guy who chose not to try Cosby in ‘04, promising to bury him underneath the jail. Who ever heard of a DA running for office promising to throw someone in jail for some shit they already got away with? Obviously, this was racially motivated.
A few years ago, in a deposition in one of his many other sexual assault cases, Cosby admitted that he used to buy Quaaludes to give to girls so he could have sex with them, which, incriminating though it may sound, was once viewed as hardly any different from buying a girl a drink. Otherwise, why would you admit to some shit like that in a deposition? The media, along with the absolute worst people on Twitter (to the extent that those two groups don’t overlap), seized on this fact, as well as the sheer number of accusations against Cosby, as proof of his guilt. They were hoping the jury had the same idea, and when it didn’t, it was seriously suggested that the law be changed. If a sufficient number of people accuse someone of a crime, that means they’re definitely guilty, right? Fuck due process!
Per the law in Pennsylvania, which I studied in case I’m ever in town, the DA has 120 days to announce if they plan to retry Cosby. Trying him once was already a colossal waste of time and money, which almost certainly could have been spent on a more pressing matter. Philadelphia seems to be disproportionately represented in World Star videos, especially videos involving people on weird drugs like PCP and K2, so there’s no way you can tell me those prosecutors don’t have better things they can be doing.
Take it easy on yourself,