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Oh sure, blame it on Alex Jones

Internets, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I "stand" with Alex Jones, but I can't watch him go ou
Oh sure, blame it on Alex Jones
By Byron Crawford • Issue #45 • View online
Internets,
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I “stand” with Alex Jones, but I can’t watch him go out like that.
It was announced the other day that the legendary fringe political commentator (if you will) had received a “community strike” from YouTube for suggesting that obnoxious school-shooting-survivor-ternt-activist David Hogg might be a crisis actor. You get a community strike for violating YouTube’s terms of service, and if you get three community strikes in a three-month span you get permanently banned from YouTube.
You could probably just create another channel using a different email address, but not if you’re Alex Jones. It would be too obvious. He’s been all over the news for the past year or so, since the ascendance of Donald Trump, who credited his victory to Alex Jones. In fact, Jones was literally the first person Trump called after he won. If you’ve got a few minutes this weekend, you might want to spend some time reflecting on that.
Maybe a few days later it was announced that Jones had received another community strike, but it wasn’t clear what this one was for or if it’s really true. As it was pointed out in some article I read, Jones has supposedly been barred from uploading videos for two weeks as a result of this second strike, and yet not only was this announced in a YouTube video, but I’m not too proud to admit that I’ve watched several other new videos of his since this suspension supposedly began. (They help me unwind in the evening, when I get home from the warehouse.)
Nevertheless, I’m concerned that Alex Jones really could be permanently banned from YouTube, and that he won’t be able to find a suitable replacement, despite the fact that he makes tens of millions of dollars a year selling “male vitality” pills. I know the alt-right invented its own Twitter, after Milo Yiannopoulos was banned for writing a negative review of the all-female Ghostbusters reboot, but I heard it’s all nazis and there’s not enough girls to send rape and death threats to. My fear is that an Alex-Jones-friendly YouTube replacement would be similarly sketchy, and that my name might be added to a list as a result of downloading it to my phone.
One thing Jones might consider is arguing that, if there really is a second strike, and it’s at all related to him suggesting that the grieving parents, survivors and what have you pictured standing around outside Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School were the exact same people you always see on TV after a school shooting, then it shouldn’t count as a second strike, because it’s the exact same offense as the first strike. Granted, a rule doesn’t cease being a rule just because you broke it once before, but here’s the thing: Anyone who would have been offended by him calling the victims crisis actors a second time was already offended the first time he said it, so no one was really harmed here.
Pioneering crack dealer Freeway Rick, who’s been a guest on the Alex Jones Show on multiple occasions, once argued his way out of a three-strikes-and-you’re-out life sentence by arguing that he shouldn’t have been convicted of selling the exact same drugs in two different states, and he couldn’t even read! Not only is Alex Jones highly articulate, but he’s always got a stack of documents on the table in front of him, including, presumably, the proof he received from a source in the FBI that the Las Vegas shooter was a member of Antifa. If and when he does appeal this second strike, he should bring photographic evidence that one of the girls in Parkland, FL, looks just like girls pictured grieving in Aurora, CO, Boston, MA, and Newtown, CT, i.e. frickin’ adorable.
Arguably, what Alex Jones does shouldn’t be against YouTube’s terms of service anyway. And even if it is, it doesn’t make sense why they would go after him now, when he’s been doing the same thing for the past umpteen years. As Jones himself has suggested, it seems like they only gave him that first community strike because they were called out by CNN, i.e. the deep state, and because they’ve been under fire lately for hosting a lot of weird child abuse videos and for facilitating sexual encounters between grown-ass men who play Minecraft for a living and their teenage girl fans.
That guy Logan Paul was removed from YouTube’s elite ad program for posting a video of himself chuckling in the vicinity of some young guy hanging from a tree in Japan’s so-called suicide forest, but arguably that was justifiable. If I were McDonald’s, I wouldn’t want ads for, say, Chicken McNuggets, running alongside such content. I’m not sure if Jones, who’s got that boner-pill money, receives ad revenue from YouTube or not. I pay for YouTube Red, which, coupled with an unlimited data plan, is secretly the best streaming service—and the one that compensates artists the least, which is an added bonus for me personally.
I saw on Twitter that Alex Jones is trying to get David Hogg to come on his show. Hogg, who may or may not be related to Sir Denis Eton-Hogg, a founding member of the Illuminati, seems reticent. Hopefully, the two of them can resolve their differences, and maybe Jones can use that to get YouTube to give him a clean slate, not unlike how abusive husbands can sometimes talk their wives into claiming to have fallen down a flight of stairs. I’d hate to have to find somewhere else to get my information from just because a school got shot up.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

 

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