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Never eat at Dinosaur BBQ

Never eat at Dinosaur BBQ
By Byron Crawford • Issue #436 • View online
I have no idea if the food at Dinosaur BBQ is any good, but I’m assuming it’s not, because it’s a chain and it’s in Buffalo, NY, which, what does Buffalo know from good barbecue?
If I were Freddie Gibbs, I wouldn’t have had to worry about Benny the Butcher’s weed carriers putting a shoe on me and stealing one of my best gold chains, because I wouldn’t have gone there in the first place.
I guess you can’t blame Gibbs. He hails from the Midwest, where people do in fact know from good barbecue, but he’s from Gary, IN, which is economically disadvantaged even by Midwest standards. 
You’d think that people in unfortunate areas would know how to make good barbecue, because black people, who sometimes live in such areas, generally excel at cooking unhealthy foods. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. I used to drive by hood barbecue restaurants on the way to Warehouse #1, and I’d see a guy out front cooking the meat on one of those barrel pits, squirting lighter fluid on it while the meat was still on the grill.
They didn’t do anything at all to secure the barrel pit while the guy was inside watching his stories or whatever, which just goes to show the perceived value of the meat. Nullus.
The other day, Benny the Butcher posted a video of himself wearing Freddie Gibbs’ chain, bitching and moaning about something or other Gibbs said. Separately, in some radio freestyle, he said he never eats at Dinosaur BBQ—a thinly veiled reference to the incident in which his weed carriers allegedly relieved Gibbs of one of his most prized possessions.
I’m gonna have to disagree with some of our more astute commentators, who’d rather Benny and Freddie not beef like this, lest someone get shot. I’m willing to risk that. Ideally, it would be a weed carrier, and, in the interest of fairness, they’d receive some sort of reward, possibly in the form of a set-aside designated by Joe Biden and Kamala, since they seem to have so much money to just throw away.
But it would be nice to see the two of them exchange dis records. They once made such good music together. I can only imagine what they’d achieve if they turned against each other. They’re both great rappers, and there’s no shortness of fodder for potential insults.
Freddie Gibbs is dating a sex worker. In multiple songs, he’s bragged of forcing her to give him half of the proceeds from her OnlyFans, which is only right given the damage he’s suffered to his reputation by being with her—not to mention the risk of somehow contracting monkeypox.
Theoretically, Benny the Butcher could pay to have sex with Freddie Gibbs’ girlfriend and then write a song about it. At the very least, he could figure out how to pirate content from her OnlyFans, using a screen-recording app on his phone, and post it on Reddit. I’d take a look, but only for the sake of music journalism. (I need to confirm that it really does exist, or else I’m not doing my job as a reporter.)
Someone popped a cap in Benny the Butcher’s ass when he was in Texas, and now he can’t walk right. Freddie Gibbs found an article in which Benny complains that his leg no longer “works” and posted a video making fun of him. Will you look at that? He joked. Two working feet. I might run a mile!
Akademiks, who seems to be siding with Benny the Butcher (Freddie Gibbs once threatened to touch his man boobs), pointed out that Gibbs’ dad is a cop, but Gibbs has since revealed that Benny’s dad also is a cop. Gibbs might consider calling the station and alerting them to the video of Benny in Gibbs’ chain. Legally, if Benny’s father knows of the video and doesn’t arrest his own son, he could get busted down to writing parking tickets—a job generally reserved for female cops and cops who blew some sort of investigation.
Depending on how well Gibbs’ girlfriend’s OnlyFans is doing, he could probably afford to replace that chain. But as O.C. would say, it’s the principle of it. A man should be able to enjoy mediocre barbecue with a filthy hoo-er without having to worry about being accosted by weed carriers.

 

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