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Lori Harvey is NOT a filthy hoo-er

Lori Harvey is NOT a filthy hoo-er
By Byron Crawford • Issue #414 • View online
So what that Lori Harvey had sex with most famous black men, including a father and son duo, and probably some white guys. This is 2022.
She should be allowed to be with as many men as she wants, without being viewed as the kind of person who’s been with a lot of men. I don’t think that’s a ridiculous thing to expect.
She’s been in the news lately because it was announced that she split from Black Panther actor Michael B. Jordan. She scrubbed her Instagram of any references to Jordan, in case there’s any guys out there who aren’t aware of where she’s been—maybe someone who just got out jail.
She might have to consider a “freshout,” if only because she’s already run the gamut of black men with viable careers in the entertainment industry who’d be willing to accept a girl who’s height-weight proportional.
Joe Budden has one of the most successful podcasts—certainly one of the most informative—and he probably doesn’t pay the other guys on his show very much, but I don’t know if he’d be interested. He was recently photographed on a boat with a girl he may have picked up at a bus station on the way to the airport.
Jamie Foxx is done dealing with black chicks. Katie Holmes must have brought the cornball brother out of him. (I imagine she would.) He recently attended the Cannes Film Festival with the kind of white chick who looks like she doesn’t even known any other black guys. Nissan Altima Twitter was none too pleased.
Nissan Altima Twitter is also concerned that Harvey’s reputation might suffer due to how profligate she’s been with her affection and the fact that she doesn’t seem to have benefited in any meaningful way. They don’t see it as necessary for her to be in a committed, long-term relationship with a man, and I’m inclined to agree.
Lori Harvey is only 25 years old. Her body has a lot of miles left in it. It’s only a myth that a girl’s vagine gets stretched out from having been penetrated by too many guys’ units. The skin that lines the inside of it is elastic, like the waistband in some of the better khaki pants, and there’s also exercises you can do.
The Kevin Samuels of the world would argue that no guy’s going to want to be with someone who’s functioned as the town bicycle—a Bird scooter, so to speak—but what do they know? Samuels himself lived in an apartment and died laid up with a girl who looked like she could have been in a circa 1999 Ja Rule video.
Lori Harvey, when she got with Michael B. Jordan, had already been around the block multiple times, as if she were trying to sell magazines, and that didn’t stop him from getting with her. Even now that he’s been forced to drop her like a bad habit he’s clearly distraught, on the verge of tears at an NBA game.
The fact that he would be so upset at having conducted addition by subtraction is a testament to how expert Harvey must be at her craft. Certainly, she’s had plenty of experience. When it comes time for her to dismount the schlong carousel, if you will, I’m sure she’ll have plenty of takers.
I might even be interested myself, provided she’s willing to submit to a thorough battery of tests.

 

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