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Let Kanye be president

Internets, When Donald Trump wanted to run for president, not only was it allowed, he actually won. N

Life in a Shanty Town

July 10 · Issue #214 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

When Donald Trump wanted to run for president, not only was it allowed, he actually won. Now that Kanye West wants to be president, I’m seeing stories planted in TMZ about how he’s in the midst of a bipolar episode.
Have we not learned anything from the tragic killing of George Floyd?
My fear is that Kanye will spend election day in a special hospital for crazy people, thus preventing him from participating in the election.
You can’t win an election from a looney bin, right? In 1972, there was a guy from here in St. Louis who was forced to drop out of the election when it was revealed that he’d been going to therapy. Nowadays, you’re not even allowed to make fun of someone who sees a shrink. Suggesting that people go to therapy is a powerful form of virtue signaling.
If Kanye succeeds in getting his name added to the ballot and then misses the election, there’s a possibility that his VP candidate, Michelle Tidball, could take office in his stead. Apparently, she’s some religious kook from Wyoming. Is she the one who’s got him out here making those gospel albums? Her name sounds like an inappropriate nickname for an especially attractive female high school student. No Prince Andrew.
In an epic interview with Forbes magazine, it’s revealed that Kanye recently registered to vote out in Wyoming. It’s not clear from the article that he knows exactly when the election is. You’ll recall that, after the 2016 election, he told the crowd at one of his shows that he would have voted for Trump if he could have. It wasn’t clear why he couldn’t have. Was there a rap concert on a Tuesday? He was once arrested for stealing inkjet printers from an Office Depot, but that was a long time ago and in a different state.
It would be nothing for a member of the Kardashian family to have him involuntarily committed for the week of the election. It would just be a matter of calling 911 and claiming he threatened to somehow harm himself. Then, the next week, they could take him to an empty middle school and tell him it’s a polling place. There’s no way schools will be open in November, with Corona making a comeback the likes of which we haven’t seen since LL on Mama Said Knock You Out.
The other day, my little brother, who teaches middle school PE, went to a meeting about how they can possibly reopen schools this fall. He’s now on mandatory 14-day quarantine.
I suspect that Kanye’s mother-in-law, Kris Jenner, is responsible for planting the story in TMZ. It can’t be Kim Kardashian, because she endorsed Kanye after he announced his intention to run, the other day. In many ways, Kim Kardashian is the model for a how a wife is supposed to behave. But that’s neither here nor there.
Kanye recently signed a deal with The GAP to launch his own line of $14.99 (in 2020) khaki pants for enterprising hoodrats looking to start their own storefront tax preparation business, and Kris Jenner might be concerned that Kanye will say something on the campaign trail that could put this deal in jeopardy. Already, he’s said that the Corona vaccine is “the mark of the beast” and that Planned Parenthoods are placed in the inner city to do the Devil’s work.
She might also be concerned that he could throw the election for Biden. In the article in Forbes, he says he’s fine with potentially siphoning off votes from the presumptive Democratic nominee. “I’m not denying it, I just told you. To say that the Black vote is Democratic is a form of racism and white supremacy.” But I also read, albeit in Summit News, that polling shows that he’s more likely to take votes away from Trump than Biden.
Certainly, his policy positions on issues like abortion and whether or not to take the Corona vaccine are more in line with the Republicans. And I question Kanye’s appeal to black voters. Black women are the most ideologically homogeneous group of people this side of the Jonestown settlement in Guyana, and it’s quite possible that not a single one of them will vote for Kanye. On the other hand, Kanye is an aspirational figure for many black men, who would love to be a billionaire, if only to stunt on other broke black men, and to have sex with women they consider to be exotic.
Regardless, I don’t like the idea of not allowing certain people to run for president just because they’re not fit to lead. I feel like that should be up to the people to decide. If Kanye wants to run, we should let him. If people don’t want him to be president, they should show up on election day and vote for someone else. Or stay home, don’t vote and secretly hope that Kanye wins, but only for lulz purposes. I mean, since the world is going to hell in a handbasket anyway.
Take it easy on yourself,

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