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Kyle Rittenhouse has been through a lot

Kyle Rittenhouse has been through a lot
By Byron Crawford • Issue #355 • View online
I’m not saying Kyle Rittenhouse doesn’t belong in prison. I’m just saying. Rather than making fun of him for crying like a little bitch on the witness stand, maybe we should try to empathize with him.
After all, was it not a lack of empathy that led him to shoot three people at a Black Lives Matter protest?
It’s easier for me to understand where Rittenhouse is coming from, because I know what it’s like to be a sloppy-looking kid who’s generally seen as being a disappointment. When he broke down in tears on the witness stand, I felt it on a level that not everyone was able to.
I’ve never shot three white people at a black lives matter protest, nor would I, Lord willing, but there’s been many a situation in which I’ve had to explain to someone how I fucked something up.
I didn’t do the whole fake-crying thing, because I’m black, so it wouldn’t have worked anyway. Plus, people might think I’m gay, and obviously I can’t be having that. I’d almost rather go to jail (lol jk).
There may have been some truth to Lebron James’ assertion that Rittenhouse was only pretending to cry. James is notorious for pretending to have been fouled in games, so he knows from which he speaks.
However, as Hillary Clinton would sometimes point out on the campaign trail, it’s hard to know what’s going on inside the mind of a white supremacist.
It could be that Rittenhouse really was crying, but only out of fear that he could be sexually assaulted in prison if he’s convicted. Maybe his attorney instructed him to cry, for sympathy, and in order to do so, he told him to imagine what it would be like to be effed in the a by an especially large black guy—both the physical pain of being penetrated from the rear by a guy who’s especially girthy and the thought that the guy was black.
Then there’s the fact that he didn’t kill any black people. Imagine facing the prospect of spending the rest of your life in prison for shooting three people at a Black Lives Matter protest and not a single one of them was black. Will he even be accepted by white supremacist gangs in prison? If not, that could increase his risk of being sexually assaulted by a black guy.
If I were Rittenhouse, I’d try to explain to the guy from the white supremacist gang that it’s a lot harder to shoot black people at night, especially if they have their eyes closed. Not only is that true, but they might find it amusing. Also, one of the guys he killed was Jewish. That’s gotta count for something, right? Granted, I heard a lot of these alt-right guys are secretly Jewish, operating under fake surnames. There was a story about it in the New Yorker a while back. He may have accidentally killed a white supremacist’s relative.
As I’m writing this, the trial has yet to come to an end. It’s quite possible that Rittenhouse will get off. I heard that the judge was making secret white supremacist hand gestures, praising the troops and that the ringtone on his phone is a song they play at Trump rallies. Why would someone even have a ringtone on their phone in 2021 unless he was trying to surreptitiously indicate his white supremacist views? Why was his phone on in court? Was he expecting a call from his jumpoff?
Hopefully, it was the latter and not some MAGA dog whistle. This trial was already filled with so much disappointment. I’m not sure how much more I can take.
Take it easy on yourself,


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