I’m contacting you at a time other than Friday afternoon, and of course it’s because I need something—but also because I care about your feelings. How have you been lately?
Making plenty of money? That’s good to hear, because I’ve come to offer a product, and as Mike Damone would say, the product costs money.
Specifically, I’m offering a paid version of Life in a Shanty Town, i.e. the newsletter you’re reading right now: For a measly $5 a month, you’ll get not one, but two issues of the newsletter per week.
I’ll still be sending newsletters out on Fridays, and they’ll still be free, for people who can’t afford the $5, but I’ll also be sending out subscribers-only issues on Tuesdays.
Sending out two newsletters per week will allow me to cover more topics, and address breaking news in a more timely manner, and most importantly, it’ll help fund my lifestyle, as they say in the terms of service over at Kickstarter.
At least some of the proceeds will be used to get some glitter on my face, and that money will likely then be used to either pay someone’s tuition or buy food for children who don’t have a father, so in a sense, this is helping fund the whole community.
You can sign up below, where it says “Become a member for $5 per month,” or browse to newsletter.byroncrawford.com
and click the link at the top of the page that says “Members.”
The first subscribers-only issue drops 9/3. I’ll be sending reminders on an hourly basis, Jerry’s-kid-telethon-style, between now and then, but don’t wait until the last minute to sign up. I need this to seem to be going well, to maintain an air of unwarranted confidence in my interactions with women.
Take it easy on yourself,