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Jada Pinkett-Smith needs a real man

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Life in a Shanty Town

October 29 · Issue #351 · View online

The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions


Internets,
You’d think Jada Pinkett-Smith would be easy enough to satisfy, given that she’s a small woman and hence can’t have a very large cavity in her nether region, so to speak, but apparently that’s not the case.
On a recent episode of her show Red Table Talk, of which I don’t miss an episode, she complained to Gwyneth Paltrow that it’s hard to maintain a sex life with Will Smith.
Paltrow used to be married to Chris Martin from Coldplay, who doesn’t seem like he’d be a particularly vigorous lover (nullus), so the two of them may have been commiserating about how they haven’t been properly pounded out for some time now.
Hopefully, this is just a matter of Will Smith not being willing to have sex with Jada Pinkett anymore, because he doesn’t know where she’s been, and maybe also because she’s in her 50s.
Will and Jada famously have an open marriage, in which they’re allowed to score with other people, but that was only after she was already scoring with other people, and it’s not even clear if he’s taken advantage of the great privilege he’s been granted.
Recently, I read in some magazine that he has in fact gotten with other women and we just don’t know about it, but maybe he’s just saying that because he doesn’t want people to think he’s on the DL.
Back in the early ‘90s, he refused to kiss a guy in the movie Six Degrees of Separation. I applauded this movie, not because I don’t think people should be allowed to be gay, but I question why it’s necessary for two guys to kiss in a movie that’s not teh ghey pr0n. Can it not just be explained in a title card?
Similarly, I wonder why straight guys are sometimes forced to kiss other guys in films, but you never hear about a guy being forced to go balls deep in ScarJo in a film that features full-on insertion. Why is the one allowed and not the other? It’s almost as if there’s some nefarious agenda to emasculate black men.
For years now, Will Smith has been dogged by rumors that he’s secretly gay and that he allowed members of the Illuminati to eff him in the a in exchange for his roles in mega-blockbuster films like Independence Day and Men in Black.
Hence, presumably, the not wanting to kiss another guy on camera and the granting an interview to some magazine when he didn’t even have a new movie out just to imply that he’s had sex with a woman.
Also, he was once in a rom-com, Hitch, and they wouldn’t let him play opposite a white chick, and I don’t seem to recall them showing him scoring with his love interest in the film, Eva Mendes.
If I’d been in charge, that would have been at least 15 minutes of the film’s runtime.
They could have had him play opposite a black chick, but then it would have been relegated to a status akin to these random black-interest movies you see on Starz that no one has ever heard of.
In retrospect, he should have pressed harder for a white (female) love interest in Hitch, maybe even the aforementioned Gwyneth Paltrow. If he is in fact straight, I’m sure the thought has at least crossed his mind.
It’s precisely this hesitancy that’s led to a situation in which society is left with no choice but to speculate as to why he seems to have no interest in having sex with women. Jada Pinkett I can see, but why not any number of girls on Instagram? He has the means.
Will Smith has a moral obligation to make sweet, passionate love to physically attractive women on the reg, if not for his own personal amusement, then for the less fortunate amongst us.
To paraphrase Ben Affleck in the movie Good Will Hunting, don’t do it for yourself, do it for us.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

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