In news that, five years ago, would have torn the Internets apart, as if they were Anderson Cooper’s asshole, it was announced the other day that Tyler the Creator might be gay.
In several quotes from his new album, Scum Fuck Flower Boy, he seems to ease, tentatively, out of the closet, like that one friend from high school who was all too eager to play ball-tag, e.g. “Next line, I’ll have ‘em like whoa / I been kissing white boys since 2004.”
Tyler the Creator, who’s about 10 years younger than I am to the day, was 13 years old in 2004, which arguably makes this revelation even more, uh, potentially newsworthy. Was this white boy Milo Yiannopoulos?
A number of articles hit the Internets, probably more press than Tyler the Creator has received since that time he was banned from both Australia and Europe, in part for being a homophobe, ironically enough. (He might need to see about getting those bans lifted, now that he’s officially gay himself.)
The fact that this has been such a publicity coup for Tyler the Creator causes me to wonder if he really is gay, or if he’s just pretending to be gay to get his career back in order, and to try to get back into Australia.
If it’s the latter, it wouldn’t be the first time someone has outed himself to promote an album. Frank Ocean famously wrote a letter about having been in love with a guy, in the liner notes for his first album, Channel Orange, and posted it on Tumblr, where most online gays congregate.
That album went on to win a Grammy. I saw some of that year’s ceremony, because I was at my parents’ house trying to eat for free. Frank Ocean performed, and it was terrible. The guy can’t even sing. Why is he considered such a cultural icon? Is it just because he’s gay?
Imagine if you’re Tyler the Creator watching Frank Ocean get all of that attention just for being gay. Your own career is destined to fade, because you can’t really rap, and it’s only a matter of time before people grow tired of you purposely trying to offend people.
I can see why he might be tempted to pretend to be gay, or even become gay, if that’s possible. Nullus.
Similarly, it was suggested that the reason Bruce Jenner decided to become a woman, at like 70, was because he was jealous of all of the attention his ex-wife and children were receiving, many of whom aren’t even all that attractive. None of them competed in the decathlon in the ’76 Olympics, let alone won.
Caitlyn Jenner appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair in women’s lingerie, looking a damn mess, but can a person truly be said to be a trans woman, if she’s just tucking her junk back between her legs? Arguably, that designation should be reserved for people who have their junk removed. If you’re willing to go to those lengths, either you’re truly committed to this cause or you’ve been smoking that ooh-wee.
Tyler the Creator has yet to speak on this controversy, that I’m aware of. The fact that he’s been so reticent, the week’s he’s got an album coming out (no pun intended), could be viewed as further proof that he’s faking it. Whereas Frank Ocean is suspect “from the curb,” Tyler the Creator mostly comes off as a scammer. I called him gay multiple times in Infinite Crab Meats, but only in the 1990s sense of the term.
If he really wants us to believe that he’s gay, Tyler the Creator might want to consider committing a conspicuous act of homosexuality. For example, maybe he could give Frank Ocean a blowski. They’re already part of the same music collective, via astroturfing. I wouldn’t be willing to watch such a video, to confirm, but I’m sure someone from the Gizmodo Media Group could be enlisted.
Take it easy on yourself,