View profile

Is a mumble rapper 2Pac? Sure, why not?

Internets, When it was announced the other day that 2Pac's family—whoever that even is at this point—
Is a mumble rapper 2Pac? Sure, why not?
By Byron Crawford • Issue #76 • View online
Internets,
When it was announced the other day that 2Pac’s family—whoever that even is at this point—won back the rights to his unreleased recordings and plan to release two new albums, I couldn’t help but think, If only this could have happened in the late ‘90s, when people could still be duped into buying posthumous 2Pac albums.
In 2K18, there isn’t an artist prominent enough that people will still be listening to their album by the end of the following week. I don’t care if it’s Lil Wayne making a nominally triumphant return with Tha Carter V, on Nas releasing his first album in six years, produced in its entirety by the lamentably ubiquitous Kanye.
People didn’t even listen to that Drake album for any longer than it took to confirm that it had no business being upwards of two hours long. We’re living in the last days—who’s got that kind of time? To the extent that Scorpion has remained commercially dominant, it’s probably from people watching videos of the album’s singles, which are honestly kinda brilliant, not to mention videos of people being run over by their cars attempting to do the “In My Feelings” challenge.
Sidebar: It seems like anything calling itself the “In My Feelings” challenge should involve confronting some poor woman who’s “curved” you, in her place of employment, possibly while intoxicated. Imagine those YouTube videos!
2Pac’s name is hot in the streets right now because Suge Knight just got sent up for 28 years, just for running over a guy’s head in a crew cab F-150, and his son, not to be outdone, went on Instagram and said that Pac is alive and well in Malaysia, and that he might get murdered by the Illuminati for revealing this info. He was also very adamant that he’s not on drugs. I believe him!
I skimmed an article on this at the AV Club, but I wasn’t able to confirm that this is the same kid that Suge had with Michel'le. You’ll recall that both Dre and Suge had babies by Michel'le, the Ruthless Records equivalent of a town bicycle, a/k/a a Renate, which I’m sure made for many an awkward Thanksgiving. (Michel'le’s profligacy may have led, in part, to a number of domestic violence incidents, as depicted in the Lifetime movie based on my article “Beatings by Dr. Dre.”)
XXL, meanwhile, just revealed the cover of its forthcoming issue, touting an article on whether or not XXXTentacion is the new 2Pac. I’m not sure if this is the November issue or if they’re no longer on a regular schedule. We haven’t been on speaking terms since I was “let go.” Tentacion somehow has a song out with Lil Peep, who’s also dead. This XXL story might be promo for a posthumous release. I guess it’s true what they say about dead rappers getting better promotion.
XXXTentacion definitely is the new 2Pac in the sense that he’s dead, but I’m not sure if the similarities extend any further, and I’m not sure what difference it makes anyway. Is there anyone who would buy (er, stream) an XXXTentacion album who even gives a shit about 2Pac? I thought mumble rappers didn’t like 2Pac? Lil Xan, who was recently hospitalized for eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, famously said that Pac’s music is “boring.”
And I can’t imagine that very many brothers of a certain age give a shit about Tentacion. Lil Wayne, for example, said he never heard of him until he heard the hook Tentacion did on Carter V. Granted, Lil Wayne doesn’t even know what year this is.
I’d suggest putting together a posthumous posse cut with Pac, XXXTentacion and Lil Peep, with maybe the broad from the Cranberries on the chorus, but for all we know that might already be in the works, this being 2018 and all.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

 

Did you enjoy this issue?
Byron Crawford

A free, weekly email newsletter from the pioneering hip-hop blogger and author of books like Infinite Crab Meats and No Country for Black Men, with topics including racism, homophobia, healthy living, respect for women, tolerance for religion and who really runs the music industry

If you don't want these updates anymore, please unsubscribe here
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here
Powered by Revue