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I've long felt that banks are racist

I've long felt that banks are racist
By Byron Crawford • Issue #388 • View online
What is the world coming to, when a black man in a mask can’t go into a bank and hand a teller a note demanding $12,000 in cash without her calling the police?
I stand with some of the most justice oriented, morally correct people on Black People Twitter in demanding justice for Black Panther director Ryan Coogler.
At the very least, he should get the $12,000 in singles that he was demanding without having that amount deducted from his account balance, in the same way that if they forget to put cheese on your Whopper at Burger King you get something for free, but I also think that the girl who called the police needs to be punished.
Usually, when someone in public calls the police on a black person, in the many, many cases in which there’s not an actual crime being committed, it’s a white woman whose name may or may not be Karen. But in this case, it was a black chick.
We need to know who this black woman is and why she felt that a black man wouldn’t have the means to withdraw $12,000 in singles—for charity work in the community, I’m sure. Is she not aware that a lot of brothers are pursuing successful careers in real estate, despite the best efforts of white supremacists calling the police on people, or worse, just for having a look at a vacant house?
If the concern is that we’re there trying to steal construction equipment, ask yourself this question: What are we going to do with construction equipment, build something? That’s not what we do.
But I digress.
If this mystery teller was a woman of a certain age, and her body was no good (black don’t crack, but it’s not always good in the first place), the concern may have been that Coogler was about to take $12,000 and make it rain in the strip club. I’m sure she’d rather he spent that money on meals in delicious chain restaurants for the two of them and paying off the loan on her Nissan Altima.
If we had her name, and it was sufficiently unique (which, black women’s names oftentimes are), we could look her up in Google Images and see if this was the case. But if we wait too long, she could probably have those images removed via specious copyright takedown notices filled with quasi-legalese but not filed by an actual lawyer. Time is of the essence!
Note that I don’t know for a fact that Coogler was taking out $12,000 in singles to go to the strip club, but why else would he need that much cash, in any denomination? Is there anything at all on the up and up that costs that much that you can’t just write a check for, or put on an AmEx?
Coogler seemed reluctant to discuss the matter, after TMZ put it on blast, and I wonder if that’s because he didn’t want people to know what the money was for. He may have been purchasing a large quantity of drugs, or a smaller quantity of higher quality drugs. Has he done anything at all since Black Panther? I know the guy who played Black Panther died, but there’s no reason they couldn’t have replaced him with Wesley Snipes. White people wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.
Is his wife aware that he was withdrawing $12,000 in cash, possibly in ones? Not that a man should be obligated to tell his wife that he’s taking money from their account, if he’s the primary breadwinner—or even if he isn’t, if he has a valid explanation. But this may have been money he was taking out to spend on his side piece so that if they went out somewhere it wouldn’t show up on his credit card statement, plus a few dollars for the nightstand and/or cab fare.
Coogler could be in the position of having to make up a story to tell his wife that’s even more elaborate than Black Panther, and for what? Because some prejudiced teller was afraid that he might steal money that doesn’t even belong to her? She works for a bank; does she not understand the concept of FDIC?
If this woman doesn’t understand the basic laws of banking, common sense would dictate that she shouldn’t have a job in a bank. It might be necessary to take that job from her and give it to a black man. Right now it seems like literally all of us might be able to become fantastically wealthy from real estate and avoiding paying taxes by starting an LLC, but who knows what the future might hold? Gas prices are sky high, Joe Brandon has yet to give us our $2,000, and of course Kamala is over in Poland pledging her support to a group of people who shouldn’t be her first priority.
Even the Polish know better than to think that.
Take it easy on yourself,


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