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I thought Christmas was about giving?

I thought Christmas was about giving?
By Byron Crawford • Issue #361 • View online
Not everyone can afford to buy something when they go to the store. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to go to the store and perhaps gets something anyway.
Implicit in the argument that flash mobs of people stealing luxury goods from stores in San Francisco is necessarily a bad thing is the suggestion that black people don’t deserve to have nice things, this despite the fact that we built this country.
As Ol’ Dirty Bastard once famously pointed out, on his way to pick up food stamps the same week Return to the 36 Chambers dropped, you owe us 40 acres and a mule anyway!
People have been running up in stores in San Francisco for the past few years, but lately it’s been all over the news. I suspect that the purpose of this is to counteract any sympathy the black community received as a result of the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict, and to serve as a distraction during the Ghislaine Maxwell trial.
Black people didn’t really have anything to do with the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict, but a lot of people forget that during the original, less woke (and hence inferior) civil rights movement the white supremacists killed three random Jewish guys, who may or may not have been pedo, before they started taking out Malcolm X, MLK et al.
The purpose of the shooting in Kenosha may have been to create the conditions for a similar round of assassinations, possibly targeting Shaun King and DeRay, in much the same way that people who interpret the Bible literally believe that in order for Jesus to come back all of the Jews have to be sent back to Israel. Hence US foreign policy as it pertains to the Middle East.
The Ghislaine Maxwell trial has been going on all week, and I haven’t heard much about it. She could be on the stand, as we speak, revealing what Bill Clinton was doing on that plane, and we wouldn’t even know. If you search for it on Twitter, all you get is people complaining that it’s not being covered in the media.
Nothing happened this week except for the death of Virgil Abloh and a school shooting in Michigan, so there’s no reason for them to not be covering this 24/7. People complained that Chris Cuomo tried to dig up dirt on the girls who accused Andrew Cuomo of sexual harassment, but at least that was his brother. Is anyone at CNN related to the Clintons?
If someone accuses your brother of sexual harassment, and you have access to various databases filled with people’s sensitive personal information, of course you’re going to have a look. To me, that’s just good journalism. If the alleged victims didn’t do anything wrong, they don’t have anything to worry about! I trust CNN less since they suspended Chris Cuomo.
But I digress. Now, where was I? Ah yes, supposed flash mobs.
Instead of asking how to prevent huge groups of kids from running up in stores and stealing everything that’s not nailed to the floor, we should be asking ourselves why it’s necessary for them to steal in the first place. If they could afford the things these stores sell, this wouldn’t be an issue.
Black people, especially if they still live at home with their moms, don’t have a problem working like a Hebrew slave at a job that only pays peanuts and then taking an entire week’s paycheck to a store where they’re not even welcome, to buy an article of clothing that might not even be gender appropriate.
Also, black people were promised a third stimulus check when we personally guaranteed that Joe Biden would be elected president this past fall. It’s in our nature, as a people, to spend money before we get it, since we’re gonna get that money anyway, so it might be necessary for many of us to steal just to make ends meet.
As a San Francisco native, and as Joe Biden’s vice president, Kamala Harris is in a unique position to be able to rectify this issue. She needs to talk to Joe Biden about cutting those checks already, so that we don’t have to steal.
If necessary, she can just tell him he never sent the second check. How would he know? He’s like 90 years old. I heard he shit his pants when he met with the Pope.
Take it easy on yourself,


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