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I thought burglary involved theft?

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Life in a Shanty Town

July 23 · Issue #323 · View online

The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions


Internets,
Richard Sherman did the right thing by attempting to mate within “the community,” and I think we owe him more than having him arrested for aggressively knocking on a door.
A lot of black people aggressively knock on doors, even if there’s a doorbell. Does this mean the police should start arresting a lot of black people?
Uh, don’t answer that question.
Sherman was arrested this past weekend after an incident in which he tried to get into his wife’s family’s house the old fashioned way, i.e. by repeatedly ramming into the door and yelling for the people inside to open the door so he could put a shoe on them.
The whole thing was captured on one of those doorbell cameras you use to record drug addicts stealing your Amazon packages, and oddly enough, the incident took place in Seattle the same week Jeff Bezos went into space.
If only Gil Scott-Heron were still alive, he could record a hot remix of “Whitey’s on the Moon” incorporating Bezos’ trip to space and Sherman’s arrest.
Sherman’s in-laws didn’t open the door, which was probably for the best, but they might have also considered quietly exiting the back door and getting TF out of dodge.
In the video, you can hear a guy explaining that he’s not about to open the door and a woman screaming like a little bitch, which I guess is an unfair criticism, given that she is in fact a woman. You can tell they were right behind the door.
What if Sherman managed to break down the door? He’s in the NFL. Er, used to be in the NFL. I played football for one week when I was in high school, and I’m pretty sure I could tear a door off its hinges just by leaning against it.
Sherman was charged with “burglary domestic violence,” which, how is that even a crime, let alone the crime Sherman committed here? Not that he did in fact commit a crime. I’m just saying.
I guess I could see if you stole something from someone for the purpose of abusing them in a relationship. Like, if you broke into your girlfriend’s house and stole her wig, thus forcing her to either deal with the embarrassment of going to work looking like a guy or risk losing her job.
The only thing I can think is that maybe the door was damaged to the point where it has to be replaced, probably using money that Sherman’s wife got from Sherman himself, and the police consider that burglary.
That might even be why Sherman was going over there, out of concern that he was being fleeced by these people. Why else would you intentionally visit your in-laws? Unless they make especially good chicken. But this is Seattle!
I know there’s black people in Seattle (I’m related to black people in Seattle), but let’s keep it real. Black people in the Pacific Northwest probably don’t know how to cook.
It’s since been revealed that Sherman was taken down by a police dog before he was arrested.
A few thoughts:
1) I guess that means he wasn’t on PCP. Otherwise, he would have choked the dog out, and probably bitten it.
2) I suppose I should have known, when the police didn’t shoot Sherman, that they sicced a dog on him. How else were they going to take him down?
3) Are the police not concerned about the upcoming football season? That dog could have torn some of the muscle in Sherman’s leg, causing him to lose a step.
You hear about the police shooting random unarmed black men, or taking a knee on a brother’s neck, seemingly every few days, but it’s not very often that you hear about them siccing dogs on people. Is this about to be a thing?
I know the police sometimes shoot people’s dogs. But if they show up with a dog, I thought it was just there to sniff for drugs, like in the song “99 Problems” by Jay-Z.
The last time I can recall the police siccing dogs on people as a matter of official policy was during the civil rights movement. (According to Malcolm Gladwell, black people tried to get bit by police dogs on purpose so it could be captured in powerful photographs—the ‘50s equivalent of “doing it for the 'Gram.”)
You’d think that supposedly woke white people on social media would be more concerned about the police siccing a dog on a black man just for hitting a door, which has no feelings.
Was the dog attack not captured on the Ring camera? If it was, why hasn’t it been sold to TMZ yet? Are they waiting for sweeps week?
The fact that no one seems to care that Sherman fell victim to a modern day lynching, as if he were Clarence Thomas, just goes to show the lack of any genuine concern for a black man’s well-being.
Has anyone even stopped to ask why he needed to get into that house? I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the real victim here. He might need to see about hiring the team that somehow managed to spring Bill Cosby from the pokey.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

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