View profile

I stand with Lizzo... at a safe distance

Revue
 
Lizzo just can't seem to catch a break, can she? First she came under fire for stealing songwriting c
 

Life in a Shanty Town

December 13 · Issue #154 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

Lizzo just can’t seem to catch a break, can she?
First she came under fire for stealing songwriting credit from the guys her record label hired to write her songs, and from random Internets memes, and now she’s been criticized for showing up to an NBA game with no pants on.
This must be a difficult time for her, and I can only imagine the strain her Postmates delivery driver has been placed under. Lizzo already had a problem with a driver who couldn’t find the studio she was in, whom she accused of eating her bag of cheeseburgers.
I’m praying for everyone involved here.
I empathize with Lizzo, to the extent that I can empathize with anyone, i.e. kinda, because I thought it was politically correct to pretend to be sexually attracted to women who don’t have good bodies? I’m surprised this went over as poorly as it did.
This was obviously a publicity stunt gone wrong, not unlike when Janet Jackson exposed herself at the Super Bowl. (I hear someone wrote a book about that.)
It’s similar to what happened to Janet Jackson in that Lizzo exposed something that literally no one wanted to see.
Even if she had an acceptable body, Lizzo is entirely too old to be pulling her pants down in public, if not quite as old as circa ‘04 Janet, who was roughly the same age as I am—yikes!
The thing is, a lot of guys like fat chicks, and even guys who don’t like fat chicks will make sweet, passionate love to a fat chick, under a certain set of circumstances.
My Instagram explore tab remains lousy with hamplanets, despite my intentionally unfollowing a few heavier girls in an attempt to provide some sort of hint to the algorithm.
But I’ve never seen a girl there as fat as Lizzo. If such accounts exist, there must not be sufficient interest in them, even amongst black men, thus raising the question: Should there be a limit to body positivity?
Lizzo seems large to the point where her legs could give out at any moment. If she lost a few pounds, it would be good for her health, and maybe a few guys would want to bang her. Would that not be better for everyone involved?
Justin Timberlake, by the way, who emerged from Nipplegate relatively unscathed, much to the chagrin of the black intelligentsia (if you will), recently apologized to his wife Jessica Biel for cheating on her with a black chick.
That ought to count for something, right? He risked his marriage, to one of the top white chicks of all time, to be with a black women, at a time when some men would rather sleep outdoors.
The NBA deserves some of the blame here, and Lizzo might even consider suing, if her career is destroyed.
Lizzo has like one and a half hit songs, which were released back in 2016 and 2017. No one seems to give a shit about the songs she released in 2019. Will she have a hit in 2020? I certainly hope not!
Not that I’ve ever heard her songs that were popular this year, but I hear about her so much. You’d think she was actually important.
I saw a video of Lizzo walking through a corridor in Prince- and/or Fartman-style buttless chaps, like maybe she entered through the same entrance as the players.
NBA players sometimes walk through those corridors in teh-ghey-looking outfits in an attempt to get their names in the paper, or maybe as a matter of sincere self-expression.
There’s no way that Lizzo wouldn’t have been searched, at that entrance, if the players—and probably other rich people—were down there.
Perhaps there was minimal concern that she was there to pursue a romantic encounter with a player, because no NBA players get with gross, overweight black women. A guy on the Clippers recently called black women bulldogs.
All black women? Come on, bruh.
Just because Lizzo is clearly not concerned about my one functioning eye doesn’t mean that we should all be inconsiderate.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

Did you enjoy this issue?
 
Become a member for $5 per month
Don’t miss out on the other issues by Byron Crawford
You can manage your subscription here
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here.
Powered by Revue