I was deeply disappointed in Charlamagne Tha God for, among other things, joking about engaging in “steamy non-con sex” with his own wife, which is not a valid form of comedy, but as far as I’m concerned he’s completely redeemed himself with this interview with Lyor Cohen on the Breakfast Club the other day.
I hereby join the chorus of articulate, morally unimpeachable black feminist media commentators in declaring that I’m not concerned with any allegations against Charlamagne.
As a matter of fact, I’m not saying he should go hog wild, but if he feels it’s necessary for him to do something problematic to his wife this weekend, to celebrate, I’d be willing to look the other way.
He’s earned it.
Lyor was in the building to promote YouTube Music, which, I don’t even know what that is, and it’s not clear that he knows either. If he does, he doesn’t do a very good job of explaining.
It sounds like it might be a knockoff version of Spotify named after the popular streaming video website. You can already stream seemingly every song there ever was on YouTube, including a lot of things that aren’t on Spotify, Apple Music et al., but the TIs don’t like it, because they make little, if any money from it.
Recently, Billboard changed its ranking methodology so that free streaming services like YouTube and the non-premium version of Spotify don’t count for as many album-equivalent units, i.e. fake album sales. There was some concern that rap music wouldn’t rank as highly, because people who enjoy today’s rap music aren’t likely to have an extra $10 a month, but it didn’t keep Drake’s Scorpion album from breaking all kinds of (now meaningless) chart records.
At one point, Lyor is asked about the time he almost signed Drake to Def Jam, before the “In My Feelings” rapper up and decided to sign with Ca$h Money instead. Lyor only found out when Drake showed up to an awards show with a buncha guys in Ca$h Money t-shirts. Charlamagne already knew the whole story, but he asked Lyor anyway just to get his reaction—which is why I fuxwit Charlamagne, despite his alleged extracurricular activities.
And Lyor’s reaction didn’t disappoint. You could tell he still hates Drake’s guts to this day. To think of how much money he could have made if he’d managed to convince the rapper to sign an exploitative contract with *his* subsidiary of Universal Music. If he had, he wouldn’t have had to take this bullshit job with Google, as if he knows anything at all about computers.
In the middle of a conversation about the fact that Lyor’s former 300 Entertainment (seemingly exclusively) signs rappers who promote lean consumption, which he objects to vociferously, Charlamagne cautions that Lyor should answer the question honestly, lest Dame Dash call him a culture vulture again on Instagram. Lyor, in signature Mariah Carey fashion, replied that he doesn’t know who Dame Dash is. LOL
As I was writing this, I consulted the ‘gram to see if Dame had in fact called Lyor a culture vulture again. I suppose I should have known that he’d be all over this like white on rice. I mean, what else does he have to do? Arguably, Dame benefited from Lyor’s humorous own, despite the fact that there’s some truth to Lyor’s assertion that he’s essentially an anonymous figure at this point.
The fact of the matter is that Lyor did make a lot of money with—or off of—Dame Dash, and pretending like he doesn’t know who Dame is makes it seem like he’s got something to hide. If his dealings with Dame were completely on the up and up, he shouldn’t have a problem discussing them.
Take it easy on yourself,