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I believe the children are our future

Internets, I support young people's right to insult 2Pac, not necessarily because I agree with what L
I believe the children are our future
By Byron Crawford • Issue #46 • View online
Internets,
I support young people’s right to insult 2Pac, not necessarily because I agree with what Lil Xan said about 2Pac, but because I object to any ban on talking shit about rappers, alive or otherwise, both as a matter of principle and for practical reasons having to do with the nature of my “business,” so to speak.
If it were to become a rule that you can get “banned” from hip-hop—whatever that means—for making disrespectful, mostly incorrect remarks about legendary rappers, it could put a damper on the $8 I make every now and again from sales of NaS Lost, and my lifestyle simply can’t sustain such an impact.
I’m not about to stop going to Taco Bell just because Wacka Flocka’s feelings got hurt.
In case you haven’t been following the news this week, Wacka Flocka is upset about something obscure “bad millennial” (i.e born post-1990) rapper Lil Xan said about 2Pac on Revolt TV.
Very few people have ever actually seen Revolt TV, and it’s possible that it’s not even offered as an option by cable companies, even in areas with large black populations like our nation’s capital. Diddy, who supposedly owns the network, could give a rat’s ass, because, like Ca$h Money Records, Revolt is heavily subsidized by the federal government through some sort of program to promote black media ownership.
(Similarly, after the race riots in the late ‘60s, Richard Nixon gave a lot of black guys startup capital to purchase McDonald’s franchises. Never let it be said that nothing good ever came from a race riot.)
Alas, Revolt must be posting videos of its “content” to YouTube, in an attempt to turn a profit. They must have seen how much money that guy Logan Paul was making before he posted that video of himself chuckling in front of a dead guy hanging from a tree in Japan’s so-called suicide forest. I think I read somewhere that he’s making a million dollars a day, but that can’t be right. It’s probably a million dollars a month. Either way, I’m highly upset, and not because he’s mocked the Japanese. (Have you seen their pr0n? They’re arguably deserving of ridicule.)
In one of these videos, up-and-coming rapper Lil Xan is asked to give various things a clout score, on a scale from one to nine. It used to be that a Klout score was a measure of a social media influencer’s ability to shill for brands, but I guess now it’s millennial slang for how cool something is. I’ll have to keep that in mind the next time I’m having a conversation with young people, lest they think I’m with the police, despite my physique (if you will).
I didn’t watch the video myself, because I don’t have that kind of time, but apparently Lil Xan gave face tattoos and Beethoven relatively high scores and then gave 2Pac a two, explaining that Pac’s music is “boring.” 2Pac’s music is boring, to people who know from good rap music, but the concern may have been that someone who was only born, oddly enough, the same weekend Pac was shot on the Vegas strip wouldn’t have any way of knowing that—he was just being disrespectful for the sake of being disrespectful.
The video had been on the Internets for a good month before it was brought to Wacka Flocka’s attention the other day by someone who almost certainly doesn’t work for a living. Flocka, on Twitter, promptly declared that Lil Xan is “banned from hip-hop,” leading to a number of bullshit discussions on social media and probably also on a site called DJ Booth.
I’d be curious to know what Wacka Flocka means when he says that Lil Xan is banned from hip-hop. I know that guy Tekashi 6ix9ine was supposedly banned from performing in California, not because he was filmed using a middle-school-age girl as a pair of Chinese handcuffs (I wonder if his nom de rap is a reference to some weird Asian sex move), but because he didn’t want to pay an extortion fee to some street gang.
6ix9ine set foot in California the other day, and this didn’t seem to result in anything other than a fight at the airport that looked more like some teh ghey lovers quarrel. Watching it, I found myself reminded of the infamous Slap Heard 'Round the World from the Seattle season of the Real World, something I’m sure Lil Xan doesn’t know anything about.
If the only real risk is getting punched at the airport by someone who probably doesn’t have a very strong wrist, then Tekashi 6ix9ine made the right decision refusing to pay those gangbangers. I heard they used to charge like $30,000 to act as “security,” which meant that only the most successful rappers could afford to perform in LA. For that amount of money, I’d be willing to risk one of my weed carriers’ lives, if not my own.
In fact, one thing Tekashi 6ix9ine might consider is sending a random hispanic kid through the airport in a rainbow wig, with fake tattoos on his face, while 6ix9ine himself quietly slips through a rear exit as if he were Keyser Söze. I can’t imagine it would be difficult, in California, to find a young hispanic fellow who’d be willing to risk his life for significantly less than it would cost to enlist the services of the Crips. Statistically, it’s probably still safer than roofing.
Up until the other day, he probably could have gotten Lil Xan. Ironically, Xan is now much more popular, as a result of Wacka Flocka’s supposed ban. If Tekashi 6ix9ine can have five songs on the Billboard Hot 100 at once as if he were the Beatles or Ja Rule, it’s only a matter of time until Lil Xan is similarly successful. Not only does he have similar face tattoos, but he’s less scandal-prone, and not as likely to die of a drug overdose as you’d think, given that he’s named after prescription meds.
Lil Xan is Mexican, and I happen to know that Mexicans, unlike that guy Lil Peep, have an especially strong constitution. A guy I used to work with at White Castle (a white guy) used to mow lawns with Mexicans, and he said he couldn’t handle drinking with them, despite being twice their size. That’s how he ended up at White Castle in the first place.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

 

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