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Financial beatings by Dr. Dre's wife

Internets, In a week of explosive news out of Lebanon and Chicago, I was most disappointed to see tha

Life in a Shanty Town

August 7 · Issue #222 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

In a week of explosive news out of Lebanon and Chicago, I was most disappointed to see that Dr. Dre’s wife is trying to take half his money, as if she produced Doggystyle and The Chronic.
She’s filed for divorce in her native California, citing irreconcilable differences, and she’s requested half of his reported $800 million fortune, plus spousal support.
It doesn’t make sense to me why she’d need spousal support in addition to $400 million, nor does it seem fair to me that a man could be forced to cut a check each month to a woman he’s not allowed to have sex with.
Dr. Dre swore off putting a shoe on women, after the incidents discussed in Beatings by Dr. Dre, and he’s made upwards of a billion dollars. I’m at a loss for why she would want to leave him in the first place.
As recently as this past February, right before Corona and the Jay Electronica album dropped on the same day, Dre and Nicole were photographed on the red carpet at an event. They seemed happy. There was no indication that she was about to try to rob him.
In a radio interview that same month, Dre discussed the meal his wife planned to make for him for his birthday. If the food wasn’t any good, that may have led to an argument that eventually led to this divorce.
Dre’s wife doesn’t look like she knows how to cook. Is she half-white? It’s often noted on social media that white people don’t know how to season chicken, perhaps because their ancestors didn’t have to season their own chicken during slavery. White supremacy doesn’t just harm black people.
One of the few perks of being rid of Nicole is that Dre will no longer have to pretend to like certain foods that only white people eat, like brownies with peanuts in them and a chili five-way.
Initial reports were that Dre and his wife didn’t have a prenuptial agreement, a/k/a Prenump, as mentioned in “Gold Digger,” the best Kanye West song.
The law in California is that, if there’s no prenup, the couple splits any money made during the marriage right down the middle. In this case, that could be the vast majority of $800 million, if not all of it.
Dre and Nicole were married in 1996, one month after Dre bolted Death Row Records, the label he founded with Suge Knight. Nicole just missed having to visit Dre in the Death Row studios, which is probably for the best. She may have been forced to pull a Karen.
Dre famously left Death Row with no money and no rights to any of the songs he recorded, so the amount of money he brought into the marriage may have been negligible. At least Suge Knight didn’t force him to drink a cup of piss or dangle him from a hotel balcony by his ankles as if he were Michael Jackson’s son Blanket.
You can’t put a price on peace of mind.
But come to find out, there was a prenup. Nicole acknowledged as much, in a court filing this week, but claims that she didn’t want to file it and was intimidated into doing so. She’s probably hoping the court will believe he threatened her, because he’s a large black guy who’s been involved with rap music.
Two years later, she says, Dre told her that he was embarrassed to have forced her to sign a prenup. She says he tore it up in front of her, and from that moment on it was agreed that the contract was null and void.
It doesn’t make sense to me that a man would just tear up his prenup apropos of nothing, especially if his wife can’t cook. She may have refused to have sex with him if he didn’t. I wore if the papers he tore up were really the prenup or just a random stack of paper that he took from an inkjet printer.
Regardless, I don’t think you can just void a contract by tearing up the paper it’s printed on during an argument. Otherwise, I’d take the finance agreement for my car back to the dealership and make a big show of tearing it up in front of the sketchy white guy I negotiated it with.
I was under extreme duress when I signed that contract. The van I was driving at the time wouldn’t pass inspection. I was about to be out here riding around with expired plates, and I don’t need to tell you what 5-0 is like here in the STL. It’s been all over the news for the past five years.
If I were Dr. Dre, I’d talk to my lawyer about having Nicole locked up for contempt of court, for lying about not having a prenup. Obviously she remembers there being a prenup, if she claims to have been afraid to sign it. Who among us can honestly say they remember what their emotional state was in 1996?
If there’s a trial, I’d definitely bring up the fact that she used to be married to an NBA player. In fact, she was still married to him when she started dating Dr. Dre. What kind of woman starts dating another guy while she’s still married?
And what’s the likelihood, really, that a woman could be married to both an NBA player and a rapper, unless she was intentionally targeting high-income black men? I’ve never heard of such a thing, despite there being entire websites dedicated to listing black men’s net worth, their whereabouts and whether or not they’re secretly gay.
Dr. Dre’s wife is attractive, but she’s not that attractive. We can only hope that her luck has finally run out.
She’s been married to Dr. Dre for 24 years, and she was no spring chicken when they met, at least by groupie standards. If she doesn’t prevail in court, she might not be able to land another rapper. She might have to settle for someone who drives one of those Amazon trucks.
Take it easy on yourself,

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