On the song “God’s Plan,” Drake says he only loves his bed and his mother (same here lol), but obviously that was written before most people knew that he had a baby by a sex worker in France, as one does. I’m sure Drake loves his child, and even if he doesn’t he’s a savvy enough marketer to know not to admit to that.
I don’t have a problem believing that Drake was hiding the world from his child and not vice versa. Putting his business on Front Street, as Pusha T did on “The Story of Adidon,” would only serve to make it that much more difficult for him to find the poor bastard a stepmother in a more acceptable line of work.
I monitor the conversation about today’s rap music not because I give a shit but because I need something to write about, and I’m seeing a lot of people complaining that they don’t like Drake’s new album Scorpion in part because he’s a deadbeat dad. Which raises the question: What do they want him to do with this child?
Drake can’t go over to France, tuck his child into bed and later, when the child is older, play Tiddlywinks with him, because he’s got better things to do. He’s a famous rapper. Scorpion went platinum the day it came out, and he didn’t have to give away a million free copies to people with Samsung phones.
Jay-Z and Beyoncé, meanwhile, debuted at number two behind some rock group no one ever heard of. They’ve since slid further down the chart, below Post Malone’s Beerbongs & Bentleys and XXXTentacion’s ?, which have been out for months. No one cares about them anymore.
If Jay-Z were to father an “outside child” with, say, one of the white chicks from Dame Dash’s Instagram, he’d have much less of an excuse to not spend time with it.
Chance the Rapper recently proposed to his baby’s mother. I saw a few people in the comment section at VladTV—where I get my news—clowning him because her face is even more muscular than Drake’s baby’s mother’s, and of course I had to join in, but I can’t say that I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I were him.
Chance’s fiancé already has his baby, which means that if he doesn’t marry her he’ll have to buy two houses instead of just one. This way, he can keep an eye on his kid when he’s in town, and he doesn’t have to sweat other guys trying to get with his wife while he’s out on tour.
Drake could propose to his baby’s mother, but I wouldn’t recommend it. She’s got a much nicer body than some of the other girls he gets with, with their gross tank-asses, and it would be nice to have access to it on the reg, but this would only be a consideration for a brother such as myself, with no marketable skills. Drake could find another PAWG. If necessary, I could provide him with a list. I had binders full of women before Mitt Romney.
Then there’s the fact that she’s been known to do something strange for some change. You don’t want someone like that in your house when you’re not there to keep an eye on her. Certainly, you don’t want to put her in a position where she could potentially get half of that Scorpion money. Drake is enough of a student of rap history to know that you can’t turn a ho into a housewife.
I don’t know what the family court situation is in France (I might have to consult an MRA subreddit), let alone how that would apply to someone from Canada who lives in California. Ideally, Drake would be granted full custody as a matter of general principle, on the basis of never having appeared in one of those great World Star Uncut videos, and allowed to bring the child to the US—provided that wouldn’t violate the Travel Ban.
Maybe Kanye could intervene. I’d hate for Drake’s child to end up in one of Trump’s baby prisons.
Take it easy on yourself,