Police in Sweden threw A$AP Rocky in jail for at least two weeks just for assaulting someone in the street, but the joke’s on them, because both Tyler the Creator and Lil Yachty have announced that they won’t be performing in Sweden ever again.
If Rocky ends up doing a full six years, it could cost them a visit from Lil Nas X.
No but really, I’ve been amused by A$AP Rocky’s ongoing ordeal in Sweden. It’s my favorite thing he’s ever done, but not because I’m necessarily in favor of throwing black men in prison. I’m not Kamala Harris.
Rocky was busted for fighting in the street with some kids who, he said, had been following him for four blocks. He said he asked them nicely to stop bothering him, which usually does the trick when you’re being followed. Do they not speak English in Sweden?
He also said they’d been grabbing girls’ asses as they walked by. I hope women appreciate the fact that A$AP Rocky is rotting in jail “as we speak” for trying to protect them.
Will the #MeToo movement be contributing to the A$AP Rocky Defense Fund? Nah, right? Something to think about the next time you intervene on a woman’s behalf. (They usually won’t score with you as a show of appreciation either.)
We know Black Lives Matter won’t be chipping in, if Shaun King hasn’t already spent all the money, due to controversial remarks Rocky made in an interview with The Breakfast Club.
And I quote:
“I don’t wanna talk about no fucking Ferguson and shit because I don’t live over there! I live in fucking Soho and Beverly Hills. I can’t relate. I’m in the studio; I’m in these fashion studios; I’m in these bitches’ drawers. I’m not doing anything outside of that. That’s my life.”
TMZ has a couple of videos of the altercation. One of them looks like it was taken from inside a restaurant. In one of them, you can see the events leading up to the altercation, though you can’t hear what they’re saying.
Rocky himself seems to have been the aggressor, and you get the sense that Rocky decided to attack, at least in part, because he figured he could take the guy. Rocky has a slight build himself, but the guy he beat up falls somewhere in between the aggrieved midget who got tackled at Bagel Boss and a normal human being. Plus, he was Swedish.
A$AP Rocky gets credit for having won the fight, thank god, but he shouldn’t receive any additional street cred, akin to what a rapper receives for having done time in a real prison, here in the US. If his next album debuts at number one behind this BS, I’m gonna be highly disappointed.
There’s been some confusion as to whether the jail Rocky’s locked up in is as bad as, say, the STL’s infamous Workhouse, and that confusion may have been caused by Rocky himself. He seems to have lied about how bad it was, maybe because he thought it would convince his label to send someone over there to get him out—perhaps a lawyer of a certain persuasion.
There was a story on—again—TMZ about how Rocky had been locked in a cell across from a mental defective who was flinging shit all over the place, as if he were one of the monkeys at the zoo; how he’d been forced to sleep on a yoga mat; and how he hadn’t been given anything to eat other than apples.
He’s since announced, through the lawyer representing him, a Swede (ruh roh), that he’s being treated well, and he hasn’t had any interaction with the media since he was locked up, so he’s not sure how that story got out. It sounds like they’re doing damage control, lest the judge decides to throw the book at him.
If worse comes to worst, at least he’ll be able to defend himself in the pokey. He’s at minimal risk of getting bufued—unless he wants to.
Take it easy on yourself,
P.S. My new book Wardrobe Malfunction
would make good reading material for people in prison. Purchase a copy and send it to A$AP Rocky.