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Dame Dash can't afford to cop a feel

Internets, Dame Dash probably thought he was done dealing with lawsuits when he somehow convinced a j

Life in a Shanty Town

December 27 · Issue #158 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

Dame Dash probably thought he was done dealing with lawsuits when he somehow convinced a judge to accept as back child support the money he’s supposedly getting from Lee Daniels, and now some female photographer is suing him for copping a feel.
I really do feel for the guy. No pun—or teh ghey connotation—intended.
How appropriate is that term by the way, copping a feel? There’s never a time when touching a woman doesn’t cost you money.
At least in a strip club they lay out the prices up front: $40 if you do it in a back room, during the special two-minute version of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” or $10 if you do it right there at the table, where everyone’s looking, and you’re not really supposed to.
The worst thing you could possibly do is wait until a girl falls asleep while she’s a guest in your home. I’m not sure how Dame Dash gets out of this one.
Not that I believe he should. I’m just saying. If a guy assaults a girl in that manner, he should be taken out and beaten by some male member of the girl’s family, like in the movie Menace II Society. The idea that she should receive $50 million is ridiculous. This is obviously a scam.
The dead giveaway is the fact that Dame doesn’t even have $50 million. He may have never had $50 million. Remember that Dame article in New York magazine, when he was paying a black guy to hold his umbrella when he got out of a Bentley? Did he have $50 million then?
Rocawear was once supposedly worth hundreds of millions of dollars, but I remember Jay-Z somehow cut Dame out of the deal, for a relative pittance, before he sold it to some corporation. (Lyor Cohen may have guided Jay through that process.)
I’m sure the girl suing Dame is aware of his finances—everyone’s aware of Dame’s finances! She has no illusion of being awarded a $50 million settlement, let alone actually receiving it. She’s just trying to get a settlement.
Dame’s babies’ mothers somehow managed to get a million dollars out of him despite the fact that he hasn’t generated a significant income in years, and he owes money all over town, including years’ worth of back taxes.
He’s more or less admitted, in various interviews, that he lives on an allowance he receives from Kanye. It must be fairly generous, if the lifestyle he presents on Instagram is any indication. If the alleged victim here can get her hands on some of that, it could be a nice payday for what amounts to, in my expert opinion, not a whole lot.
She says Dame flew her out to California to take photos for some clothing line he’s trying to start. In retrospect, the first clue that Dame wasn’t on the up and up was the fact that she got “flewed out.” Was there not a capable photographer in the state of California, home of the film industry?
Dame apparently had enough money for a plane ticket but not enough for a hotel room, so she had to sleep in his daughter’s bedroom, where the alleged incident took place (damn).
The alleged victim says that Dame was drinking and smoking marijuana all day long and walking around in a bathrobe with no underwear, as one does. After she went to bed, she says that Dame touched her cans and put his fingers on her behind, which he didn’t have permission to. Fortunately, he didn’t “drop a digit” on her.
Of course I had to Google the alleged victim, as an act of solidarity. Her Twitter is locked down, and I couldn’t find very many photos of her, which was surprising, given that she’s a photographer. (Female photographers post a lot of pictures of themselves, for biz dev purposes. Some female comedians don’t even post jokes, just pictures of themselves.)
Based on what little I could find of her, she’s no spring chicken, but she’s powerfully built. You could see a guy wanting to cop a feel, after a long day of watching her femininity, so to speak, struggle against the constraints imposed on it by her clothing, which could only do so much.
She looks like she has sex with black guys anyway.
Not that I agree with a single thing Dame Dash has done, mind you, in this case or otherwise. If he really is guilty, I hope they take his ass to the cleaners. If I can’t touch this girl, why should he have been able to?
Take it easy on yourself,

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