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Chrissy Teigen has a business to run

Internets, There's not a right or wrong way to commemorate the loss of a child. I would never want an

Life in a Shanty Town

October 2 · Issue #239 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

There’s not a right or wrong way to commemorate the loss of a child.
I would never want anyone to know that I had a miscarriage, lest people thought there was something wrong with my vagine, but that’s just me.
It makes sense that Chrissy Teigen would see things differently. As a former model in Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue (before they had guys in it), she made her living having her picture taken. Being photographed is her natural state.
Plus, she’s got a sketchy online business that she’s trying to run, and this could help juice the metrics.
She’s running an online content farm that she’s using to promote a lifestyle brand around food, though I suspect that she has no idea how to cook.
Would John Legend’s music be as emotional as it is if she knew how to properly season chicken?
Earlier this year, a kinda sexy white chick had to be let go from the New York Times, during Corona, for suggesting that Chrissy Teigen doesn’t work on her own content farm, which, why would someone who has the means work on their own content farm?
If I had a room full of Chinese who were capable of cranking out Life in a Shanty Town as if it were Pier 51-style wall art, I’d never write again in my life.
I’ve seen Teigen’s miscarriage referred to as a “pregnancy loss,” which must be the new politically correct, not unlike when a person who’s killed himself is said to have “died by suicide,” which I’d argue robs the deceased of agency, as if they haven’t already suffered enough.
It makes sense that they would come up with a new term, since miscarriage suggests that the mother did something wrong. Chrissy Teigen didn’t do anything wrong, that I’m aware of, other than try to have a baby at “a certain age.”
At 35, she’s still very attractive, even perched on the edge of the hospital bed where she just lost a child, with no shirt on, almost as if she’s purposely trying to confuse me, when I’m not even supposed to be looking at my phone at work. I could have been run over by a forklift.
But even an attractive woman is more or less depleted—reproductively, I mean, not in terms of her value to society—by the time she’s 30, let alone 35. And whatever’s left at that point is not likely to be the cream of the crop, so to speak.
You have to feel for John Legend, who I’m assuming is the one who took the photo. They don’t allow visitors for a miscarriage, do they? There’s no special cigar for that occasion, unless you count a Black & Mild.
Yesterday, Jason Whitlock came under fire for criticizing Teigen for her post-miscarriage photo. He was, in fact, dead wrong for even sharing his opinion on the matter in the first place, as if anyone gives a shit, but the fact of the matter is that every guy, if he’s being honest, agrees with what Whitlock said.
But what are you gonna do if your wife, who’s an influencer, asks you to take a picture of her with no shirt on right after she had a pregnancy loss so she can post it on Twitter? John Legend doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who’d try to talk some sense into her. He’s too lightskinned.
Admittedly, I’d be very tempted to just skedaddle. It wouldn’t be abandoning a child, since the child isn’t alive. And you wouldn’t have to sweat your soon to be ex-wife following you out of there. If you’ve just had a major medical procedure, they won’t just let you get an Uber. You gotta have your mom come get you.
John Legend has an EGOT, and he was recently named the Sexiest Man in the World (nullus) by People magazine. Somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of his mind, he has to be thinking that he could get a woman with more taut skin and higher self-esteem.
Regardless of what happens, Teigen can at least take solace in the fact that she’s running a successful online business.
Take it easy on yourself,

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