I have a problem with people attempting to build careers based on mental health awareness because they’re more commercially successful than I am, which causes me to be jealous, and because I’m not concerned with the plight of the mentally.
But there’s no denying that there’s a mental health problem in our country.
This week alone there was Delonte West getting his ass whooped in the middle of the street, Antonio Brown putting a shoe on a delivery truck driver and Orlando Brown claiming that Nick Cannon gave him a blowski. That’s three separate, distinct instances, which makes it an official trend per the New York Times’ rule.
I’m most concerned with the latter, because of the implications for Nick Cannon’s perceived masculinity. I’ve never seen a single thing that Nick Cannon was involved in other than Chiraq, which I actually liked, despite Spike Lee being the police, but I appreciate his commentary in some of my preferred media outlets these days, including VladTV, from which I get my information.
I’m only familiar with Orlando Brown from him being a mentally ill former child star who occasionally says inappropriate things about Raven Symone, sometimes on the aforementioned VladTV. I think he may have been on Nickelodeon. Nick Cannon was also on Nickelodeon, and that may have been where he put his mouth on Orlando Brown.
I say may have because I hope Nick Cannon didn’t really give Orlando Brown a blowski. I hope some grown man, possibly an exec at Nickelodeon, gave Orlando Brown a blowski and he thought it was Nick Cannon because he’s smoked a lot of crack since then and it’s scrambled his brain. These things happen. Wasn’t there an exec at Nickelodeon that had to be let go for dipping his crayon in the company toy box, so to speak?
In keeping with today’s theme, I’m only familiar with Delonte West from the rumors that he banged Lebron James’ mother, and in retrospect that may have been the first sign that there was something wrong with his brain. If you could bang pretty much any 20-year-old girl who’s attracted to guys with money, i.e. literally all of them, why would you bang some 36-year-old woman? I’d almost rather take a cheese grater to my unit (emphasis on almost).
Things have somehow gotten even worse for West. Supposedly, he’s been homeless for years, and the other day he was caught on video having a shoe put on him in the middle of the street and shouting at the police like a crazy homeless person, which I guess he is. In addition to being mentally ill and homeless, he should be embarrassed to have been beaten up, given that he was a professional athlete in the not so distant past.
Which brings us to Antonio Brown. He was in the NFL as recently as a few weeks ago. I may have even written a newsletter about him back when he signed with the Patriots, who will sign anybody. But something tells me he won’t be playing professional sports again anytime soon, or ever.
In addition to the incident with the delivery truck driver, who, for all we know, may have been on some bullshit (take it from someone who’s in the industry—some of these truck drivers need their asses whooped), there was an incident the week before with his baby’s mother. He was caught on video cursing her out and accusing her of trying to steal one of his ultra-expensive cars (maybe a Bentley; black people love Bentleys).
As was the case with the truck driver, I’m sure there’s at least some truth to the idea that his baby’s mother was trying to get money out of him. But Antonio Brown was clearly out of control in that video. He seemed entirely unconcerned that both his child and the police were there, and he had to know that the video would go viral once he threw that bag of dicks at his baby’s mother. How symbolic!
Was there something in the air this week? I wonder if it’s because the primary elections are about to begin, and black people are on edge, on a subconscious level, because there was some discussion of reparations during the various campaigns. You know how, when you think you’re about to come into some money, your palm starts to itch.
Alas, it usually just means you could use some lotion.
Take it easy on yourself,