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Charity starts in the NBA

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Life in a Shanty Town

August 13 · Issue #329 · View online

The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions


Internets,
PJ Washington’s Internets thot ex-wife sacrificed quite a bit to have his baby. Why shouldn’t she receive $43 million?
Who’s going to want her now that she’s been stretched out by a guy who’s big enough to play in the NBA (nullus), let alone the fact that she’s someone’s mother? (Eww!)
She probably could have made quite a bit of money hawking laxatives to girls with eating disorders (TW: eating disorders), so they could land themselves a baller, and having sex with rich guys in the Middle East, some of whom, I hear, are into black chicks.
And not just girls who would be presentable if it weren’t for their reputations. I remember hearing, back when girls first started getting flown out to Dubai, that Buffie the Body made a lot of money going over there for whatever reason (I wouldn’t want to speculate).
You might remember her from when she used to date Gucci Mane, back when he was still on drugs. They had a reality show together, in which they had an epic debate about whether or not the word massage has a th-sound.
I’d consider dating Washington’s ex, Brittany Renner, if I thought she’d be willing to help me out with some issues I’ve been having with my wardrobe and some things that need to be repaired in my house in a shanty town, i.e. pretty much everything, or even just for the sex. (I’d double bag it, natch.)
Some girls, especially if they’re in high school, prefer to date guys who are a little bit older. It makes them feel more sophisticated, and older guys are oftentimes better at sweet, passionate lovemaking and/or more willing to spend money, if necessary.
But I digress.
Word on the street is that Washington has been forced to pay $200,000 a month to Renner for the next 18 years. Some young, concerned brothers on Twitter, probably from Nigeria (guys from Nigeria are into men’s rights), did the math, and apparently that works out to the aforementioned $43 million.
Also, based on how much Washington makes, and how much he’d have to pay in taxes, he’d only be left with $400,000 a year.
How can an NBA player reasonably be expected to live on $400,000 a year? Even if the hotels they stay in are paid for by the team, which would dramatically cut down on living expenses for like eight months a year, those suits they wear must cost money out the ass.
You’d think that maybe he wouldn’t have to pay taxes on the amount he pays in child support, since, in a sense, he’s already giving that money back to the community, both the thot community and his child (the most precious charity case), but I’d check with an accountant if I were him—and not the same guy he just used for family court.
Ideally, he should seek out an attorney of a certain background. I’m not saying which, lest I’m ever invited to (officially) perform at Lollapalooza, but I think we all know.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

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