View profile

Chance the Rapper sucks now

Internets, After years of rainbow-colored mixtapes, Kit Kat commercials and what have you, Chance the
Chance the Rapper sucks now
By Byron Crawford • Issue #120 • View online
Internets,
After years of rainbow-colored mixtapes, Kit Kat commercials and what have you, Chance the Rapper released his first official album the other day, and no one seemed to give a shit. Critics weren’t impressed, and it lost a first-week sales battle to a white rapper no one ever heard of.
As they say on Twitter, you hate to see it.
I guess it’s not completely accurate to say that no one gave a shit that the Chance album dropped. Some people seemed to take a certain glee in shitting on it, and in fact, I seem to recall seeing a few people, in the weeks leading up to the album’s release, rearing up to exult in Chance’s misfortune, like they knew the album would be poorly received.
Public sentiment on Black People Twitter seems to have turned against Chance the Rapper since the Coloring Book era, and I’m honestly not sure why. (I don’t spend as much time on the Internets as I used to.) Is it because he’s alt-right? Is it because he’s been too open about taking care of his child and not cheating on his wife, neither of which is anything I need to hear from a black guy, let alone a rapper?
I’m not familiar enough with his music to say if it’s any worse now than it ever was, but I’m thinking it probably isn’t. He’s not old enough to have completely lost the ability to spit. Jay-Z didn’t even have an album out yet when he was that age. The subject matter might not be any good, if the entire album is about him being a proud poppa and a faithful husband.
Especially the latter. I found that Lil Duval and Charlamagne Tha God song “Black Men Don’t Cheat” somewhat amusing, if not quite on the level of “Living My Best Life” (which has become my mantra), but only because its title was obviously intended to be facetious. This new Chance the Rapper material, on the other hand, is sending out the wrong message.
Not only does staying faithful to your wife not make for good music; it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s not normal or healthy to get married to someone at 25 years old and not have sex with anyone else for the rest of your life. It’s not what the Lord intended, and it’s not what most people do. Most guys these days don’t get married, and many guys who do get married cheat on their wives. Some estimates put the figure as high as 72%.
I suspect that Chance the Rapper only got married because his baby’s mother was trying to take him to the cleaners, and I wonder if he’ll reconsider now that it’s ruining his career. It makes sense that he wouldn’t want to pay his baby’s mother, er, his wife now, I guess, any more than it costs to feed and clothe a child, i.e. hardly any money at all, but it’s a moot point if he’s not making any money.
Sometimes it’s necessary to get some strange stank on your hanglow, to get your career back in order. Take for example Tiger Woods, who obviously hit a Perkins before this year’s Masters. Similarly, Chance the Rapper might need to hit the drive-thru of a Lee’s Famous Recipe, or wherever he found that wife of his.
If Chance the Rapper does step out on his wife, and it results in his next album not sucking balls, he will be taking care of his family in a sense. I’m sure his wife would understand, though I wouldn’t run that argument by her unless it was absolutely necessary to do so.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol

 

Did you enjoy this issue?
Become a member for $5 per month
Don’t miss out on the other issues by Byron Crawford
Byron Crawford

A free, weekly email newsletter from the pioneering hip-hop blogger and author of books like Infinite Crab Meats and No Country for Black Men, with topics including racism, homophobia, healthy living, respect for women, tolerance for religion and who really runs the music industry

You can manage your subscription here
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here
Powered by Revue