Some of the most prominent members of the hip-hop community are under fire this week, from their alleged victims, and from a white guy who was allowed to review a Nas album for Rolling Stone.
I hope none of the allegations are true, not because I’m concerned with protecting anyone’s career, but because I’d hate to think that a black woman was treated with anything other than the utmost respect.
As the mothers of the universe, and as the Democratic Party’s most loyal demographic, they deserve nothing less.
A few years ago, a white guy who was banned from the mall for trying to pick up teenage girls, as if he were Ron Johnson from Stereo World, was almost elected to the Senate, and if it weren’t for black women he would have been.
I know it’s a holiday weekend, and many of you, myself included, will be conducting experiments to see how much barbecue and alcohol you can consume without having some sort of Rick Ross-style medical emergency, but take some time out this weekend to think about that.
Nas has a new album out that I thought about writing about in this week’s Members Only™ issue, but then I heard about Bella Thorne scamming people people on OnlyFans, and of course that takes precedence.
Plus, writing about a new Nas album would have required me to listen to a new Nas album.
King’s Disease was given two and a half stars in Rolling Stone, i.e. the equivalent of two and a half mics in The Source, which, it’s amazing to think that this is the same guy who once made Illmatic, and now it’s hardly inconceivable that an album of his would receive such a negative review.
Two and a half stars seems like an appropriate score for the album based on the quality of its music, as I recall from having skimmed it once the day it came out. But reading the review, you get the sense that the guy who wrote it likes bad modern rap music, and he was actually more concerned with the album’s alleged misogyny.
He complains that Nas dissed Doja Cat, who was in racial chat rooms showing feet, and Gayle King, who was dragging Kobe Bryant’s name through the mud before they’d managed to pull what was left of him from that helicopter, which I took as tacit approval of kicking it with racist white people and bringing up false rape accusations during someone’s memorial.
If this guy somehow manages to die before I do, remind me to attend his funeral. I’ve got a few things I’d like to bring up.
Speaking of bad rap music, Joe Budden’s two-year deal with Spotify is coming to an end soon, and he’s announced plans to take his talents elsewhere, perhaps South Beach.
He said the amount they offered him to re-up was too low, and they wanted entirely too much in return, so he had to tell them to go fuck themselves. He explained his reasoning in a lengthy episode that wasn’t as compelling a listen as I was hoping it would be. Fortunately, my time has no value.
I might regret this in a few weeks, when it’s announced that Tidal cut Budden a check for $200 million, i.e. more than the entire streaming service is worth, but you get the sense that Budden doesn’t have a better offer on the table, and it’s not clear to me what Spotify could want from him that would be too much. Were they asking for a blowski?
Listening to Budden spout Chess Not Checkers wisdom for hours on end, I couldn’t help but be reminded of that time when Mo'Nique accused Netflix of discrimination because they offered her $500,000 for a comedy special after they’d already given Amy Schumer $15 million.
Schumer isn’t even a real comedian, but an actress who thought that doing stand-up might help her get roles. Her first Netflix special was so bad that it caused them to get rid of star ratings. It was rated even more poorly than King’s Disease. Meanwhile, Mo'Nique’s performance in Precious is the most amusing thing that a woman has ever intentionally done.
Similarly, I suspect that the amount Spotify offered Joe Budden pales in comparison to the $100 million they gave Joe Rogan, who started on Spotify this week.
Budden probably can’t bring very many new listeners to Spotify, since he’s already been there for two years, and I’d be willing to bet that a disproportionate amount of his listeners use the free version of Spotify.
The only way they can make money from him is loading his show down with ads, and they probably can’t charge as much for ads on the Joe Budden Podcast, because his audience is made up of the kind of bummy guys who would be impressed by the Roc Nation Brunch claptrap he spewed on the episode where he explained why he was leaving Spotify.
If that wasn’t bad enough, one of Budden’s many video ho exes, Tahiry, is out here giving interviews claiming that Budden put a shoe on her. She might be under the impression that Budden has a deal on the table, and such an allegation could ruin it.
Budden responded, on the next episode of the podcast after the one with the Spotify mumbo jumbo, that he never beat up a woman a day in his life, and that she used to beat him up. LOL
Budden has been dogged by domestic violence allegations for decades, not that multiple allegations of the same thing over time necessarily means anything. You see what they did to Bill Cosby.
You can tell that Budden’s weed carriers Mal and Rory didn’t really believe him and that they were just nodding along out of a sense of weed carrier duty. Not that I wouldn’t do the same thing if I were in their position. I have no morals.
There’s a time to heroically walk away in protest, and that time is after it’s been determined that there won’t be a sizable payday.
Take it easy on yourself,