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Be a father to your child

Internets, I'm not gonna lie. If I had a kid, and it wasn't even in the same country, and the mother

Life in a Shanty Town

October 11 · Issue #136 · View online
The hip-hop newsletter that's not afraid to ask the tough questions

I’m not gonna lie. If I had a kid, and it wasn’t even in the same country, and the mother had especially bad genes, like maybe her parents were related, I can’t tell you that I wouldn’t just pretend it didn’t happen.
Arguably, it shouldn’t count anyway, since it’s in a whole different country, and hence far enough away that it’s likely no one would ever find out—especially back in the mid ‘80s, when Internets technology wasn’t nearly as sophisticated as it is now.
Brian Johnson claimed to have made sweet, passionate love to a girl from Niagara Falls for precisely that reason. You didn’t quite believe him, but you didn’t have any way to prove that he was lying, now did you?
The fact alone that Drake even knows who his father is—without having done a 23 and Me—is enough for me to believe that Dennis Graham was telling the truth when he said that he was never an absentee father, and that Drake only pretended that he was because he thought it would help sell records.
Graham the Elder said, in an interview with Nick Cannon (from whom I get a lot of my information these days), that Drake admitted this, in one of their heart-to-heart talks. Drake himself vehemently denied this, the next day on Instagram, in a missive that made it sound like the old man was about to get “cut off.”
From what I understand, Drake’s father lives in a house next door to Drake’s house in Calabasas—the one that supposedly has a pool bigger than Kanye’s. (Or was it the other way around?) He probably scores quite a bit on the basis of being related to Drake, if he’s even capable of doing so. I see a lot of paparazzi photos of him in the club dressed like a cartoon pimp.
How tragic would it be if he had to go back to living in Memphis because he didn’t want people thinking that he didn’t take care of his kids? Take it from someone who was in Memphis this summer: I’d much rather be known as a deadbeat dad. People are already gonna think that about you anyway, because you’re an old black guy. Might as well reap the benefits!
You’d think that Drake would be more understanding of a father who didn’t have a (then-) traditional relationship with his child’s mother, given the fact that he has a baby by a white sex worker who lives in France. Obviously he can’t be in France to teach the kid his ABCs and what have you, but I’m sure he cares about him—or would like people to think that he does—nonetheless. He was even about to name a line of sportswear after him.
To the extent that Drake is a better provider for his child financially, I’m sure it’s just a matter of him having come along at a time when you can make boatloads of money in the music biz despite not having any talent, whereas his father, who’s similarly afflicted, was a contemporary of Al Green, Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye. He had no choice but to go up to Canada, where people don’t know from good music.
Alas, there’s just not as many people in Canada. Even if you sell a record to literally everyone who lives there, that’s only like 300,000 copies, which was not enough to recoup, in the pre-streaming era. If it were, he would have been scoring with better-quality women, and this wouldn’t be an issue.
Take it easy on yourself,

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