Life in a Shanty Town
By Byron Crawford
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issues
Protect Loving vs. Virginia at all costs
It's tragic that women are no longer allowed to get an abortion, but that's no reason to go after a black man's sacred, Constitutionally guaranteed right to make sweet, passionate love to a white woman.Have I not suffered enough? I could be forced to pay chil…
Real men don't listen to house music
It's sometimes necessary to go to nightclubs, because that's where some of the most nubile, pliant women can be found, but you should avoid listening to the music they play in nightclubs if at all possible.Wear a pair of knockoff AirPods made by Jabra, with w…
Ban Lil Nas X from the BET Awards
Lil Nas X hasn't had a good idea since 2019, when he put that singing kid from Walmart on the "Old Town Road" remix. Of course he wasn't nominated for a BET Award.On a recent episode of "Entertainment Tonight," which I believe is now hosted by AC Slater from …
How dare Lizzo insult the spastic?
The spastic have it hard enough as it is. They can't stop their arms and legs from flailing about. Some of them might not be aware that it's inappropriate to pull your schlong out in public. The last thing they need is Lizzo insulting them.I refuse to believe…
What the projects really need is cryptocurrency
For years now, people in the projects have struggled to get ahead through whatever means they had available to them, whether it was putting their light bill in their child's name or selling off-brand energy drinks that they had to buy in bulk from an East Ind…
Lori Harvey is NOT a filthy hoo-er
So what that Lori Harvey had sex with most famous black men, including a father and son duo, and probably some white guys. This is 2022.She should be allowed to be with as many men as she wants, without being viewed as the kind of person who's been with a lot…
Killer Mike could never be in the FBI
The war against black men pursuing careers in real estate continues apace, with allegations that Killer Mike is in the FBI.As if they let fat people in the FBI!My play cousin comes under fire on occasion, oftentimes for the most minor of offenses. So what tha…
We demand justice for Amber Heard
Yeah, Amber Heard lied about Johnny Depp being abusive, and she probably stole money from Elon Musk, but did anyone ever stop to think how she might feel?Clearly something went horribly wrong in their relationship, or else she wouldn't have taken a shit in De…
Yes, Joe Budden IS a journalist
Isaiah Rashad made at least one good decision in his life, and that was going on Joe Budden to discuss a video to discuss a video that appears to show him receiving a blowski from two guys.Who better with which to have such a conversation?I didn't watch the i…
The one time the police didn't do anything wrong
This week's mass shooting in Uvalde, TX, was so horrific that it's hard to even think about, let alone discuss.I think the thing that bothered me most was people complaining that the police didn't intervene right away.As if this wasn't already a difficult wee…
Sports Illustrated finally went too far
Who among us could complain when Sports Illustrated put plus-size model Ashley Graham on the cover of its annual swimsuit issue?Many fat chicks, when photographed from a certain angle, look like girls with decent bodies, but with larger cans. In other words, …
Freddie Gibbs can't go anywhere
This week, upon hearing news of the latest Freddie Gibbs beatdown, some of the sorriest people on Twitter rushed to post ostensibly humorous memes. I'd like to see them fight an entire jail's worth of rust-belt ne'er-do-wells while taking their girlfriend, wh…
Arm the black elderly
Both of my grandmas are long since dead, but if they weren't I'd want them armed to the false teeth, in case they needed to lay waste to a mentally ill white teenager.It's just not safe out there for the black elderly.This past weekend, a young racist CAC ope…
What is crime, really?
The war against black men pursuing careers in real estate continues apace with this week's arrest of Young Thug.Supposedly, he's involved in organized crime. I wonder if the concern is that he's broken the law or if they just don't like the idea of black peop…
Was Kevin Samuels assassinated?
Kevin Samuels' body wasn't even cold in the ground when some of the least desirable women in our community took to the Internets to celebrate his demise.His last, fateful, chemically-induced rod had yet to subside.He's lucky he wasn't in the men's locker room…
I miss Roe v. Wade already
I'm sure you've all heard the news.The Supreme Court is planning to get rid of Roe v. Wade this summer, as if it were an unwanted pregnancy, just in time for any scheduled beach vacations.If you've got a girl you need to drop off at Planned Parenthood, like J…
Everything DaBaby does is justified
The other day, media outlets breathlessly reported that DaBaby has been charged with felony assault due to an incident on the set of a music video, as if he's the kind of person who randomly assaults people.Did it ever occur to them that maybe he had a perfec…
Why I prefer Bhad Bhabie to Megan Thee Stallion
This week, while Megan Thee Stallion went on Gayle King to falsely accuse Tory Lanez of shooting her in the foot, Bhad Bhabie paid $6.1 million cash for a house with money she made from OnlyFans.Somewhere in that lies an important lesson about personal respon…
An African-American now runs Twitter
I've long had problems with the way Twitter is run, so I'm glad someone with some sense purchased the app outright for $44 billion.I can't wait until Elon Musk gets in there and starts shaking things up. No homo. I can say that now, because I'm sure the site'…
Protect Taylor Lorenz at all costs
When I saw Taylor Lorenz crying on MSNBC, I knew that it would be necessary for me to spring into action.The sight of tears streaming down her kinda attractive face aroused a protective instinct in me from deep within that I don't always feel with other group…